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10 questions to ask your partner to get closer to them


There’s always more to learn about your partner, even if you think you already know everything about them and that’s what makes relationships exciting. Taking the time to be intentional and set aside time to get to know one another better leads to deeper intimacy. And there’s one simple way to do this, ask questions. You might be surprised by what you discover. 

“I know a lot of couples think that the biggest issue to look out for is conflict and whether or not they fight,” says marriage and family therapist Katie Miles, LMFT. “But really, curiosity and showing interest in your partner is more potent for a long-lasting and happy relationship than something like the absence of conflict, because that type of communication is the foundation for actually liking each other and having a friendship.(MSN)

By building that safe space, and asking questions to each other, you get the chance to learn your partner for who they truly are. So often we ask our partners “How are you” or discuss matters like future planning or current stressors, but we rarely get the chance to go deeper and understand their hearts. 

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we at Inside Then Out would like to offer 10 questions from our Dig Deeper journal that can help foster the connection between you and your sweetheart.  

We selected these 10 questions to provide you and your partner with a more well rounded understanding of one another. 

Plan a time free of distractions, and ask each other these questions:

  1. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
  2. What does an unhealthy relationship look like to you?
  3. What are some little things that you appreciate?
  4. What values are most important to you?
  5. What is a dream that you let go of?
  6. What is something that you would like to experience? 
  7. What parts of you need more attention right now?
  8. What would you like to make more time for?
  9. What did you love to do as a child?
  10. What makes you feel appreciated?

We hope that these questions allow an opportunity to connect with your loved one with intention and help deepen your connection.

If you enjoyed the questions, or even if you found the prompts challenging or surprising, consider purchasing your own copy of Dig Deeper for you and your partner and make this practice a ritual. 

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