April 9th
Write a letter to someone who hurt you.
For a long time, I felt powerless, overwhelmed, and like it was my fault. For a long time, I’ve wondered if you ever think of your actions or recognize how much you’ve taken from me: my self-esteem, my ability to trust, my sense of safety.
Can I ask you… Did it make you feel powerful to take something that wasn't yours? Do you feel like more of a man now? Do you actually believe the lies you told me? That it was my fault this happened.
I can choose to hold on to the anger I have towards you, and many days I want to. In writing this letter to you not to tell you how much I hate you. This one is actually for me. I am making the decision to release the hold you have had on me for all these years and I refuse to let you take anything else.
What I am learning now is that my healing is continuous. It is not just something that happens once. I’ve tried it all... Therapy... Journaling…Meditation.. and it’s all actually helped. I’m learning it wasn’t my fault. I am learning that I am not what you did to me or what you reduced me to. I am a different woman today. I smile often. I am strong, but I also allow myself to be soft. I am healing, even if I once thought that was impossible. I am loved and surrounded by so many people that are there for me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I carry it with me. How I carried it walking to class, trying to focus on studying, trying to pay attention to what my friends were saying when we’d catch up. They had no clue about the pain and shame I was carrying with me for so long. I wonder… how do you carry it with you?
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