Maybe it's the way you make your coffee each morning, or the art of arranging your desk before the workday begins. Maybe it's wash day, or your “everything shower” routine. Rituals are the small and intentional moments that slow us down. Especially when you are feeling overwhelmed, rituals can serve as a reset and reminder to take some time for you.
It’s no secret that our environment, from the global crises down to chaos in our homes or personal lives, impacts our nervous systems. We often don’t take the time to slow down and truly feel what's going on in our minds and bodies.
Rituals can help take us out of those foggy moments and into moments of clarity and intention.
“Rituals require three things: intention, attention, and repetition. By applying an intention to our habits, we force ourselves to pay attention to our bodies, thoughts, actions, and surroundings.” (Calm)
A ritual doesn’t need to be elaborate or fancy, it can be simple. Simple rituals make powerful impacts. When we tie little moments of intention, attention, and repetition into our daily lives, we create a more meaningful life with ease.
Inspired by our new candle line we’ve thought of four daily rituals you can implement for a bit more calm, focus, intention, and presence.
A night-time meditation
Notice the beauty in front of you
When you are catching up with your friend, your partner, or even having a meeting with your boss - take the time and intention to look them in the eye and notice their features. Note how they speak, their expressions, and how their energy feels.
This ritual is impactful because we often see the same people day in and day out, but how often do we take the time to truly notice them? Sometimes the people we interact with most are the ones we notice the least.
Visualization journaling
To be done each morning or night for ten minutes.
Grab a notebook and pen. Take a moment to focus on what matters to you, what you are trying to accomplish. Visualize what that looks like for you. Where are you located? What are you wearing? Who is surrounding you? How do you feel? Write out in detail what it looks like to accomplish those goals. This daily ritual can assist in manifesting your desires into reality.
Creating a subtle reminder with a saying
What is it that you’d like to be more intentional about? Maybe you’d like to quit a bad habit and introduce a better one. Consider coming up with a phrase or saying that is unique to you and your situation. Each time you find yourself wanting to slack off or catch yourself slipping, repeat that phrase. Our words have an immense power.
Example: Each time I catch myself scrolling through social media when I instead want to be reading, I will say “I do not scroll away, instead I read a chapter a day”
Whether it’s lighting a candle, or taking the time to reflect after a busy day, we want to encourage you, this month and all months, to take those moments to slow down and show yourself an inkling of kindness and love.
This March, ITO wanted to celebrate International Women’s Day by inviting 11 women to pour into themselves and their sisterhood at Nobu Atlanta. Guests checked into their hotel rooms greeted by ITO goodies like our latest candles, and notebooks, along with some other gifts from our sponsors. Dinner was an intimate gathering at Nobu, where the women received two flowers each - one for themselves and one to give to another woman in the room.
The staycation continued the next day as guests headed to a pilates session led by Lexi and spa session at Exhale Spa followed by breakfast.
“I loved every bit of our staycation weekend in Atlanta at Nobu. One of the things we were looking forward to was meeting all of the women and creating an intimate, safe space for them to share and get to know each other. It all exceeded our expectations. There was so much warmness and genuineness in the air. All of the women truly embodied who we are at Inside Then Out through their vulnerability and openness to share their truth and journey with each other.
I left with a full heart. This is truly one of my favorite parts of the work we do, and I’m glad we were able to curate this experience for International Women’s Day.” Britney, Partnerships Manager
I loved every part of hosting all these incredible women. There was endless laughter, reflection, and genuine support. It made me feel proud of the brand and community I have built. All the girls were so kind and had their own unique personalities. It was amazing to see the combination of newer creators and ones who have been around longer, and how much appreciation they had for each other. One creator, Isabella, even mentioned that she was journaling about wanting to be invited to more influencer events, and this is her second one.
It’s extremely important to connect with people in real life. These days it can become so easy to spend so much time alone or talking to people through a screen, that any moment to really connect and meet with people in person is a great opportunity. I love intimate events because it feels like everyone really has the opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level and be a bit vulnerable with each other.
I left the event feeling grateful for the community that Inside Then Out allows me to foster. Hosting these events is definitely one of the highlights of my work.
Have you ever felt a little more than just sad before your period? Or suddenly feel more grumpy and annoyed with people around you? Orlike you cannot get your work done, but don’t know why?
You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
Unfortunately, women’s health is largely misunderstood and underfunded - causing women’s health issues, like menstrual health, not to be taken seriously. What’s troubling about this, is that treating the more severe aspects of hormonal health for women can be a matter of life or death.
You’ve heard of PMS, but have you heard of the more severe form — PMDD? Here’s everything you need to know about PMDD or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and how you can better understand your hormonal health even if you do not have PMDD.
PMDD is a more severe form of PMS, and the cause of the illness is unknown. However, many women with PMDD report feeling suicidal, depressed, or deeply unlike their usual selves. PMDD can be an incredibly isolating experience. The intense mood swings, physical symptoms, and emotional turmoil may leave you feeling like no one understands what you're going through.
Symptoms of PMDD include:
(Ref: womenshealth.gov)
For many of us, these symptoms may seem like just part of the package when it comes to our menstrual cycles - but that doesn’t mean these symptoms don’t deserve our attention or shouldn’t be taken seriously.
If you find yourself going through a troubling time with your health or wellness, know that you aren’t alone and that your voice matters. We want to remind you that if you are struggling with your hormonal health, or nay ailment for that matter, you aren’t alone. Studies show that about 80% of women have experienced some form of hormonal imbalance
Remember that hormonal health issues can influence mental health. If you are experiencing mental health issues as a symptom of a hormonal issue, know that it’s not your fault, and feeling better is always a possibility.
The effect hormones have on women’s health isn’t always as severe as PMDD, they can be subtle. In the realm of health and wellness, hormonal health, particularly concerning women, can be largely undervalued. Hormones are pivotal in numerous bodily functions, influencing everything from mood and energy levels to metabolism and reproductive health. However, despite their significance, hormonal health remains poorly understood by many.
While it may feel like there is nothing you can do to heal your hormonal or feminine health, the good news is that there are plenty of actions you can take toward healing.
Self-care can aid physical health, the more you manage your stress, the better your physical health can become. It is important to take steps to relax, decompress, and tune in with your inner world during these times.
Even if you do not experience symptoms of PMDD or another hormonal issue, there are steps you can take to help support your hormonal health, such as:
(Ref: John Hopkins Medicine)
Another element of supporting your hormonal balance is simply knowing the various phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle. Knowing what to expect takes away the element of surprise. So the next time you find yourself craving a certain dish or hating the way you look out of nowhere, you might want to consider what phase of your cycle you are in.
If you are living with a hormonal imbalance or are struggling with your health, we want to affirm something: You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
Living with hormonal issues can sometimes make you feel like you're losing control or like your body is betraying you. The mood swings, fatigue, irritability, and other symptoms can leave you questioning your sanity. But please know that what you're experiencing is real and rooted in physiological changes within your body.
Finding the right support and resources can make a world of difference in managing hormonal issues. Whether it's seeking guidance from a healthcare provider, joining a support group, or making lifestyle changes to support hormonal balance, know that there are options available to help you feel more like yourself again.
As you navigate the ups and downs of hormonal issues, be gentle with yourself. Practice self-care, prioritize your mental and physical health, and reach out for help when you need it. You deserve to feel empowered and in control of your health and well-being.
All the love,
ITO
]]>Tell us about yourself… what is your background and where were you when Transparent and Black came to its genesis?
In my senior year of college, I was battling depression and social anxiety. Many people say that college is supposed to be the time of your life, but that wasn’t the case for me. I was battling depression and social anxiety and I started seeking out therapy. Therapy helped me deal with the things I was experiencing at that time - the anxiety, my childhood, and some of the environmental traumas I was facing.
At that time (2015-2016), blogs were very popular. I began writing a blog mostly about me and my life, and black women in particular were engaging with it. I wanted to give back to the black women who were engaging with my written work. I felt like there were so many women that inspired me and I wanted to build a place to honor them, and that's how I started Transparent Black Girl, that was over six years ago.
From there, I started to feel this nudge that said “Let's go a little bit deeper with this work”, so I started Transparent Black Guy which is a space for black men. And then I started to get that same nudge to go a bit deeper again, so we formed a collective to address specific things as a community that I feel are barriers of entry to wellness for Black and Brown people. Those barriers of entry specifically being: lack of access to public pools, therapy, and doulas. We address those issues both internationally and within the United States.
That's how we now have the collective Transparent and Black.
I’m curious, why pool access?
I’ve been swimming since I was maybe four or five years old. My father taught me how to swim, but it was something in my family that was not “normal”. A lot of black folks don't really know how to swim it, it's a thing. It was a joke growing up in my family, “black folks don't swim” but what it really was was that we were systemically barred from pools in this country.
And so while I was learning how to swim as a little kid, I had a cousin who died, he drowned at the beach.
It created this divide where there was one side of my family that was encouraging me to swim but there was another side that was very fearful of me swimming. I was able to talk with my cousin's mom and talk with her about what that journey was like losing her son. We were the same age when he died. So I was very excited about swimming, but was also raised with the reality of losing my cousin who was very young like myself, and how real it is.
It sounds like T&B allows others to have a safe space to be themselves. For yourself, what does it mean to build a safe space?
It means everything to me. It was important for me as I was sharing my journey of wellness to create that same space for others to be vulnerable. Community is at the core of that.
I think as an empath and as someone who has experienced a great amount, especially in my early twenties, of trauma and anxiety, I wanted to create spaces where people did feel safe but also prioritized. When I started going to therapy and becoming immersed in wellness I didn't see a lot of myself, but I would have black women and even black men inboxing me saying they wanted to go to therapy, but they didn't know where to start they didn’t know where to find a black therapist. So when we started hosting events, black therapists would be on a panel talking about how to get started with therapy how to find a black therapist how to fix their filters on Psychology Today to find people how to use Insurance how to understand sliding scales.
Especially with Transparent Black Guy because I felt like black women, we have so many opinions about black men - but I wanted to create a special space for them, even if they didn't immediately come around to it, even if it was a slower build than Transparent Black Girl. It was important to me, for the men to have that space that’s for them by them.
When was a time in your life when you could have used a safe space?
I think about my childhood and what I needed then. I was a very shy girl, and still am in many ways at almost 31 years old. I think when I was dealing with depression and dealing with anxiety and just different experiences that I was navigating especially during college, I felt by myself.
When I started Transparent Black Girl, I was 23. I was just coming out of college I had navigated a lot of depression and social anxiety while I was in school. I was trying to make friends but dealing with a lot of baggage from my childhood. My father was incarcerated while I was in college so I was navigating trying to make friends, and visiting my dad on the weekends. I was not in the best relationship at the time, I was gaining weight, feeling depressed, and feeling like I didn’t have a community.
I think I was always yearning for community, I think for me I've tried to prioritize what would I have needed back then through Transparent and Black.
How did you start community building?
Our community started growing online with Transparent Black Girl. We were doing these positive memes. I remember a few years back I saw this meme on a different account that was like “me, my stress, my bills, my anxiety” and I thought: “This is negative. Why are they posting this?” And so I posted one that was like “me, alkaline water, my flourishing savings account, my grandma's prayers”. I was just positive about it. I posted it, went to the gym, and then I came back that post had like a thousand likes and I was like, “This is strange” and my following went from a thousand to 5,000 to 10,000 and 20,000. So I thought “Okay if I'm garnering this attention, let’s see where this can go” This was after we had been a brand for almost a year.
I felt like if we're garnering this attention then I need to make sure that we take it seriously and that we get started on building community. And so from there, I connected with physical therapists, online trainers, and therapists and built a community from there.
I think that's the powerful part about being online. We have so many discussions about how toxic the internet can be, I think if you shape your algorithm, you can determine what your online community is. I try to focus on the great things that have happened on social media. I know so many brands that have done beautiful things with their platforms
The Internet has been a huge part of our community building because we’ve been able to reach folks all over. Of course, we have our larger community which is in New York City, but we've been able to reach women all across the country, due to social media.
What are some roadblocks you faced when forming Transparent and Black? How did you overcome them?
Funding has definitely been a roadblock for sure. Black women are starting businesses faster than any racial group, but the amount of funding whether it be crowdfunding or Venture Capital, has been difficult. We've had support but not nearly enough as we need. It can feel frustrating when you have these ideas that you want to work on and that you're passionate about but feel like you don't have the resources to do.
There were definitely times when I felt like a failure because I wasn't able to accomplish things as quickly as I thought especially in the scope of social media. I ask myself constantly: “How can I practice wellness for myself as a CEO as I build this brand?”
How do you practice wellness as a CEO?
I would say honestly patience has been the best practice for me.
Patience is required, especially when we're talking about systemic issues that have been in place for hundreds of years, we can't fix those problems overnight. Slow change is still change. I also like to keep in contact with the people who continue to support us and support our work.
Also boundaries! I update my socials [about my personal life] as it feels comfortable. Transparency doesn't mean that you have to share everything. I won't lie and say that healing has not been a painful journey, but there's also been so much joy that I've found along the way and so I try to share those moments too. Healing work can be difficult, but it can be very joyful. It can also be very exciting to see yourself transform into a new person - a happy person, a person that's valuing themselves, a person that you don't recognize anymore, but in a good way.
What has most surprised you about starting T&B?
Honestly, the support surprised me. I was enjoying the process of falling in love with wellness and truly understanding, or at least trying to understand, what it means to be well. Truthfully I did not see any of this for myself. I thought I would just have a small community online.
For myself, as a Christian woman, because my faith is a part of my wellness journey, I think that's what showed me that this was my true purpose. This is something that God ordained for me to do and so through that, it has comforted me in those moments when I feel doubt.
Do you have any advice for folks out there wanting to engage their community but unsure how to start?
Start by asking the questions, and having a conversation. Truly build with them, not for them.
I would do something every week called Transparent Tuesdays. We would talk about different topics and I would ask our community what they wanted from us. I was essentially recreating my own focus group. I’d ask questions like: What events do you want to see? What's interesting to you? What things are you passionate about?
What would you change about the current conversation about wellness? What would you like to add to it?
I think one of the things that I feel like we saw in the pandemic was how much people were talking about how Black health needed to be prioritized and how much Black wellness spaces were needed and I feel like that stopped. To be honest with you, I feel like it was a very short-lived conversation. I would like to see more change in that way. I'd like to see more funding for Black wellness companies. I'd like to see even more diversity in those spaces - not just one type of black person, but body diversity, color diversity, all of those things. And more support that's not tied to ROI. Deep support, that's genuine and that is helpful.
Where do you see Transparent and Black in the next five years?
I love that question. I see Transparent and Black in the next five years solving those three chords of work that are really important to us. One of the things that's been important for us is opening up a studio, so I see that for us. I see deeper community building for us, our brands flourishing individually and our collective being a strong whole.
What does Transparent and Black mean to you?
Transparent and Black means that conversations about Black wellness are changing and that we're being prioritized. Wellness has always been in my space. I just didn't necessarily realize that it was.
For example, I've been doing yoga since I was 15 years old and the environment did not look like me. I was always the only black girl and was often the only person of color and I think for me to now have the opposite experience, and to see so many Black people opening their minds to different expressions of wellness. It means that we're beginning to understand truly how important it is to reclaim a space in wellness. I don't think it's a new space for us. I think that the great thing about Black History Month and learning - is that we realize we’ve always had a space in wellness. For example, did you know that a Black woman helped start Pilates in the United States?
So for me, I think if this is an opportunity for us to understand that much of the practices that we are doing now, they're not new, they are practices that were stripped from us.
Transparent and Black is an environment where we can reclaim wellness - I think that we're decolonizing our well-being and that we're having fun while doing it too. So I'm really excited about that.
A final question from Dig Deeper: What motivates you to keep going?
What motivates me to keep going? Remembering my purpose - this work called me, I did not ask for it. I thought I’d be an attorney, that was my goal when I went to college and all I ever dreamed about growing up, but wellness found me, and on the journey to building this company, I discovered that my great-grandmother spent much of her life in a mental hospital. That realization showed me that this work was meant for me, that in my lineage healing was needed and not just for myself but to create healing spaces for the Black community. This work is ancestral, it’s intergenerational, and it’s divine.
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You're known to enjoy life to the fullest and love to head into the unknown! But internally, you may face the dilemma of taking two steps ahead and one step backward. Journaling will push you to take a breather from always being on the go and help you reflect on what’s draining your energy to make empowered and healthy choices.
A prompt for you: What would make you feel free?
Taurus, you are steady, tolerant, and loyal. you revel in pleasure, love, and beauty! That’s why it can be easy for you to take these things for granted, and hard for you to face your internal demons. Journaling will not only help you keep in touch with your inner self and acknowledge your shortcomings, but it will give you space for gratitude and a new appreciation for life.
A prompt for you: How do you express your feelings?
Geminis are natural conversationalists and intellectuals; witty, enthralling, and confident! yet you often lack focus and can be extremely harsh on yourself when you do. journaling will help you be kinder to yourself, and help you integrate all parts of you — the inner child and where you are today.
A prompt for you: What does connection mean to you?
Nurturing and maternal, you are all about the family and your close relationships. cancers are deeply empathetic and quick to help friends. but as loyal and caring as you are, you tend to need to remember to take care of yourself! You also struggle with receiving feedback, which can get in the way of your growth. Journaling is the perfect tool to help you embrace changes, turn inward, and reflect on your role in your relationships.
A prompt for you: What makes you feel grounded?
With a flair for the dramatic and creative, you’re always bursting with love for life. However, being left out makes you uncomfortable and can push you to lose track of the bigger picture. Journaling will help you release any overwhelming emotions and help you build self-awareness to ensure everyone involved in the situation wins.
A prompt for you: What truths are you hiding about yourself?
You are logical, practical, and a perfectionist at heart, Virgo. Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side! But your tendency to chase perfection makes you overly critical of yourself and those around you. Journaling will help you see your thoughts and feelings objectively, and help you practice more compassion in your daily life. The biggest weapon in your armor is your love, dear Virgo!
A prompt for you: In what ways are you too hard on yourself?
Amiable, empathetic, and aesthetic, Librans thrive in harmony. However, you tend to bend backward to avoid confrontations and compromise on your inner peace to protect said harmony. Use journaling to learn to put yourself first, allow yourself to feel angry, and handle conflicts in a healthy way!
A prompt for you: How can you add more balance to your life?
You are the director, Scorpio. Your passion, fierceness, and possessiveness have the power to make others vie for your attention. But you tend to get uneasy with risk: when your plans’ safety clashes with your heart’s desires, you forget to trust your intuition. Journaling will help you take charge of the situation and make things work out exactly as you want them to.
A prompt for you: What do you wish people knew about you?
Sagittariuses are known for their quest for adventure and boundless energy! Yet your well-intentioned honesty often comes at the expense of others' emotions... and your need for instant results will often make you inconsistent. Journaling will turn your focus to patience; taking small steps and doing the boring, mundane stuff. Journaling will also help you bring up conflicts in a more gentle way.
A prompt for you: Where in your life do you feel stuck?
Capricorns are organized, confident, and self-motivated. You have high expectations of yourself and those around you. Pouring your heart out doesn’t come easy, so journaling is where you learn to take a break, get out of your comfort zone, and be easygoing.
A prompt for you: What emotions are you avoiding?
You are an idealistic visionary, Aquarius, and your thoughts often drift to 'making the world a better place.' But while you focus so much of your energy on fighting for causes you care about, you also need some time alone! Journaling can be a part of that time meant to restore your energy and to work on your goals and inner thoughts.
A prompt for you: Who are you when you let your guard down?
Pisces is a combination of all the signs’ qualities, with a deep focus on emotions. With such a deep intuition, you feel your burdens deeply, and easily absorb others’ emotions; you are often drowning in your sorrows, which prevents you from letting go and moving on... journaling can help you soften the effects of your emotions by reflecting on them through a distant lens, so that you can healthily use your emotional capacity!
A prompt for you: How do you escape reality?
Want more from ITO? Follow us on Instagram for feel-good content and encouragement on your healing journey.
There’s always more to learn about your partner, even if you think you already know everything about them and that’s what makes relationships exciting. Taking the time to be intentional and set aside time to get to know one another better leads to deeper intimacy. And there’s one simple way to do this, ask questions. You might be surprised by what you discover.
“I know a lot of couples think that the biggest issue to look out for is conflict and whether or not they fight,” says marriage and family therapist Katie Miles, LMFT. “But really, curiosity and showing interest in your partner is more potent for a long-lasting and happy relationship than something like the absence of conflict, because that type of communication is the foundation for actually liking each other and having a friendship.(MSN)
By building that safe space, and asking questions to each other, you get the chance to learn your partner for who they truly are. So often we ask our partners “How are you” or discuss matters like future planning or current stressors, but we rarely get the chance to go deeper and understand their hearts.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we at Inside Then Out would like to offer 10 questions from our Dig Deeper journal that can help foster the connection between you and your sweetheart.
We selected these 10 questions to provide you and your partner with a more well rounded understanding of one another.
We hope that these questions allow an opportunity to connect with your loved one with intention and help deepen your connection.
If you enjoyed the questions, or even if you found the prompts challenging or surprising, consider purchasing your own copy of Dig Deeper for you and your partner and make this practice a ritual.
Are you feeling lonely when it seems like the whole world is in love?
As Valentine's Day approaches, I wanted to take a moment to remind you of something truly special - the incredible person that you are. While this day is often associated with romantic love, I believe it's also a beautiful opportunity to celebrate all forms of love, including the love and warmth that you bring to yourself and those around you.
I want you to remember that you are never alone, because you have yourself. Instead of this month shining a spotlight on your single status or longing for true friendship, allow it to shine a light on how far you have come, and how much you have your own back.
Let this Valentine's Day also be an opportunity to express appreciation and gratitude for the connections you have in your life. I hope you can take a moment to reflect on the love that surrounds you, the friendships that enrich you, and the positive impact you've had on others. Although, at times it may be hard to notice, you mean so much to the people around you.
Wishing you a Valentine's Day filled with love, laughter, and the knowledge that you are deeply cared for.
XO,
ITO
]]>Additionally, and perhaps unexpectedly, a planner can say a lot about yourself, your attitudes, and your habits. Read on as we dissect the six things your planner may say about you.
If you could only get three things done in a day, what would they be? Over time, you’ll see a pattern of the things you continuously prioritize. Maybe it's a morning workout, a work task, or a home project. Do you meet these priorities? What do you think your priorities say about you?
How are your habits? If you aren’t meeting your habit goals consistently, it could be a sign that a slower approach to changing habits is needed. Also consider, why did you want these habits in the first place? Your “why” is always going to play a key factor in your goals when it comes to habit forming.
Are you running around on autopilot? Ensure you take the time to check in with yourself. Even leaving a small note or reminder to smile, or roll your shoulders back, can be a small boost needed to push forward during busy days.
Productivity is great, and it's a very satisfying feeling to get things done, but do you leave time for joy or pleasure? If you are someone who struggles to make time for themselves, scheduling it may help. Time for yourself doesn’t have to be extravagant, even small pockets of time can do wonders to re-coup. You likely make commitments to different people in your life - why not commit just a bit of time to renew your spirit?
Reminder: It’s okay to say no. Burnout often happens when we bite off more than we can chew. If you notice that you frequently feel overtired, overwhelmed, or resentful, it can be a sign you are giving yourself too many tasks to complete. This doesn’t mean you can’t aim to be a high-achiever or get a lot done, but have grace with yourself and don’t be ashamed for having limits.
Do you take the time to stop and give yourself credit for what you do accomplish? So often we focus on what we didn’t get done. Giving ourselves positive reinforcement can go a long way in building a healthy relationship with ourselves. These do not have to be major accomplishments in the traditional sense, give yourself credit for setting a boundary, eating enough, or scheduling free time this week.
What we like about the Daily Focus Planner is that its pages are undated, thus working with you. If you skip a week or even a month, you can jump right back in.
Sometimes we lose track of time, go on a long vacation, or a major life event comes our way. When we find ourselves ready to get back to a routine, we want our productivity tools to receive us. The Daily Focus planner is far from rigid, but it will hold you accountable. Like budgeting, allotting amounts to spend on certain areas allow you to enjoy life, and reach goals. When we structure our days, pockets of free time emerge.
Tell us about how you got to where you are now, from being a college student in NY to working with brands and coaching.
During college, I always worked. I worked in product development in the MAC division of Estee Lauder. I’ve always loved beauty and cosmetics. But I also have always loved health and fitness - so I created a fitness Instagram page, where I would post my workouts, nutrition tips, recipes, and more... I was growing a following, but it was never in the plans to become an influencer. I had a job opportunity with MAC lined up post-graduation, but because of the pandemic, it kept being pushed back.
The pandemic pushed me to take a step back and reflect. I have pretty severe ADHD, and with ADHD it’s really important to have an outlet. I remember committing to myself to just post once a day on TikTok for three months, next thing I knew it took off.
Did you feel like you had to let go and trust the process during that time?
I did, once I surrendered and focused my energy towards [social media] it all came into alignment for me. That period [during the pandemic] gave me a base for this career. I wanted to start a podcast, so I started Sync’d Up and also got certified in holistic health coaching. But the biggest lesson of all was putting my energy towards what I was passionate about, surrendering to the universe, and building that trust muscle.
Your bio for @sync.up is “Your energy is your greatest asset” I love this because this is a very accessible approach to leveling up. You don’t need to buy anything, you just have to be yourself. In the vein of accessibility, what things would you start today if you had to reinvest in your energy?
I feel like people aren’t going to like this - but meditation. Meditation has been huge for me. The days I don’t have a great meditation or I’m drifting off versus the days I’m super tapped in have a huge difference. My interactions with all the people I encounter that day are so much better when I get a good meditation in.
The second thing I would say is journaling. I recently had a moment where I felt like I was spiraling. I’m working on not outsourcing to other people’s opinions, so I decided to journal. When we journal we can truly slow down our thought processes and begin to think more rationally, and that grounded me so much. Literally five minutes after I journaled it ended up working out, and I swear it's because I shifted my energy which then reflected in my outward reality.
What are 3 things you can’t start your day without?
Meditation, journaling, coffee. I will meditate and journal at the same time (unless I have a flight, then just a meditation).
In my morning routine, after journaling and meditation, I always drink water and have something with a bit of protein before my coffee. It’s a lot better for your hormonal health. Then I get ready and head out for the gym.
Tell us a little bit about your journaling routine. Are there any prompts you love?
I always do the daily design by Gabby Bernstein. It’s four questions:
Who do I want to be today?
How do I want to feel today?
What do I want to give today?
What do I want to receive today?
I alternate between answering those four and gratitude journaling. When I gratitude journal I write down all my blessings and what I’m appreciative of. I also always do my affirmations.
What parts of your routine do you struggle with? How do you overcome those?
I have a big tendency to procrastinate, I think it's tied to ADHD - when I get focused I can be very easily distracted so moving from task to task is something I have to actively work on. Time management is an active task for me. Something that helps me is time blocking. I will give myself an allotted amount of time per each task. This makes it so much easier to measure my productivity and not get too overwhelmed.
Do you have a routine or method for manifesting?
I don’t have a “routine” in the sense that I have a regime or am writing down something five times and sleeping with it under my pillow. We manifest from our subconscious beliefs, I believe we’re always manifesting. What I do is look at my limiting beliefs and work through those, and I get super intentional about how I want to feel and I practice it.
One majorly notable thing is that your content exudes lots of energy, are there any energy-boosting tips you’d like to share? Any tips for feeling happier?
Yes! Before bed, until I fall asleep I repeat “I will wake up creative and inspired”. I also set intentions, before hanging out with friends or on a date I set the intention “I’m just going to have fun” Setting the intention to bring fun and light feeds my energy.
I do think the high energy is partially ADHD - I definitely have times when I’m not energetic or super happy. Like most people, I also have bad days and moments where I don’t know what I’m doing.
Tell us about when you overcame a limiting belief, what was in your toolkit to fight against it?
For a really long time, I don’t even think I was fully conscious of it, but I didn’t believe I was worthy of a healthy romantic relationship. I was insecure and did not accept my worth. Therapy helped me acknowledge my patterns and be real with myself. It took years - but now I’m in a healthy relationship and I feel like that’s a culmination of everything I’ve learned along the way. Each time I’ve been broken up with, each time I’ve let a guy go and didn’t want to, all were a part of my learning experience.
How do you personally cultivate self-trust?
I always say that self-trust leads to self-esteem. When you trust yourself you respect yourself. Consistently showing up for yourself, for me, it’s the gym. I have a goal of being featured in Sports Illustrated, so when they call - I wanna be ready! I would say find something you can consistently show up for yourself. I also have a practice where I’m radically honest.
Another major part of self-trust for me was trusting my inner voice. I used to be the person who would ask my three best friends, my mom, or my cousin what I should post, say, etc. But I started relying on my intuition for those answers. That way even if I didn’t get the exact outcome I would have liked, I learned the lesson on my own.
Are there any ways you like to reach your goals while being gentle with yourself?
Giving yourself grace, I would say to know your limits and watch the self-talk. You will never catch me saying something mean to myself. I always think “If my best friend was saying this to me [about herself] what would I tell her?
Are there any book, podcast, or music recommendations for those on an energetic upgrade journey?
I gotta plug SYNC'D UP, I also love The Expanded Podcast, On Purpose by Jay Shetty, and The School of Greatness Podcast. For books, my go-to is Super Attractor by Gabby Bernstein.
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In a world with much hustle and bustle, it's okay to do things on your own time. Doing so builds self-trust, makes work more enjoyable, and can make you perform better at your job
In our fast-paced world, the pressure to keep up with external expectations can often leave us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. However, there is a compelling case for slowing down and embracing your pace as a key to unlocking productivity. Let's explore how aligning with your natural rhythm can lead to a more purposeful, enjoyable, and fulfilling work life.
In today’s blog, we’ll cover the four main reasons why following your own pace actually boosts your productivity.
You know those tasks that have been pushed back for weeks now? Maybe there is a good reason you haven’t gotten to them yet. What we continue to push off can show us what we truly prioritize, and where our values may lie. This isn’t to say neglect all tasks you don’t find enjoyable, but noticing what you tend to put off may give some clues into where your motivation flourishes.
Working at your own pace allows you to connect with your work on a deeper level.
Intrinsic motivation, which comes from personal interest and satisfaction, tends to be higher when you have autonomy over your pace, leading to increased productivity.
According to the Harvard Business Review, harnessing this skill early in our career helps build the resilience we need to reach our goal in any field.
Remember, productivity isn't just about checking off tasks from a to-do list; it's also about creating a life that you enjoy. Following your own pace frees time for activities that bring you joy. Whether it's spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying moments of relaxation, a balanced and fulfilling life contributes to a positive mindset, which lays the foundation for increased productivity.
As you make more time for things you enjoy, you'll find that your overall well-being improves, enhancing your energy and focus when you return to work tasks. Understanding your own pace helps you manage your time more effectively. You can allocate time based on your energy levels and concentration, allowing you to prioritize tasks and make the most of your productive periods.
The benefits of better time management go beyond accolades from your boss, honing this skill also offers:
Contrary to the belief that working faster leads to success, following your own pace often results in a better work life. When you give yourself the freedom to work at a pace that feels right for you, stress levels decrease, and burnout becomes less likely.
Following your own pace also teaches you about your working patterns and styles - a valuable asset for professional advancement. When you know yourself better, you can better advocate for yourself.
Following your own pace enables you to strike a better balance between work and personal life. It allows you to set boundaries, take breaks when needed, and avoid overcommitting, leading to a more sustainable and fulfilling work-life balance.
This improved well-being translates into a more positive work environment. Colleagues may notice your increased satisfaction, creativity, and collaboration, contributing to a healthier and more productive workplace culture.
Rushing through tasks can lead to procrastination and avoidance. When you work at your own pace, you're more likely to approach tasks with a sense of control, reducing the tendency to procrastinate.
When working at a pace that suits your natural rhythm, you're less likely to experience high levels of stress and burnout. Trying to keep up with an unrealistic or externally imposed pace can lead to exhaustion and decreased productivity.
Following your own pace allows you to approach tasks with a calm and focused mindset, reducing the tendency to procrastinate. When you have the time to break tasks into manageable steps and work on them gradually, a sense of accomplishment builds, reinforcing positive habits. As a result, you become more proactive and less prone to the pitfalls of procrastination.
In a world that celebrates speed, it's essential to recognize the power of moving at your own pace. Embracing your unique rhythm not only boosts productivity but also enhances the quality of your work and life. As you align your actions with your purpose, make time for joy, and create a more balanced work life, you'll find that productivity becomes a natural byproduct of a fulfilling and purpose-driven approach to your endeavors. So, take a moment to reflect, embrace your pace, and watch as your productivity soars to new heights.
When you identify aspects of your life that you may want to improve, it might be the right time to introduce self-discipline. While discipline often carries connotations of being firm or strict, and it's true that some toughness is necessary to cultivate grit and resilience, it doesn't have to be a journey solely defined by pain for the sake of gain.
The reality is, that discipline can be considered one of the most profound expressions of self-love. It revolves around being present for yourself in those consistent, day-to-day choices that propel you toward the life you truly desire. This unique approach to expressing love involves personal commitment, accountability, and the ability to prioritize your own well-being. In this blog post, we will dive into the concept of self-discipline as a love language and explore how it can enhance and strengthen your relationship with yourself.
Discipline is often seen as the bridge between goals and accomplishments, the driving force that propels individuals toward success. While it may require effort and commitment, discipline is a cornerstone of personal growth. Discipline has been shown to..
Most of us are familiar with the infamous Five Love Languages, if not:
“The premise of the five love languages is quite simple: different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in your loved ones, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly grow closer” (Ref: Five Love Languages)
What if we took each aspect of the five love languages, and applied them to different aspects of self-discipline? You love yourself, you care for your goals and their outcome, so why not treat this relationship like you would any other relationship?
Positive affirmations play a crucial role in self-discipline. Be your own cheerleader. Acknowledge your progress, celebrate small victories, and provide yourself with the encouragement needed to persevere. Constructive self-talk creates a nurturing and motivating environment.
Spending quality time is a love language that strengthens bonds. Dedicate focused, uninterrupted time to your priorities. Whether it's daily writing, weekly exercise, or monthly planning, allocate moments where you can solely concentrate on nurturing your goals.
A healthy relationship requires self-care. Listen to your body and mind, and take breaks when needed. Adequate rest, proper nutrition, and mindfulness practices contribute to your overall well-being and sustain the energy required for self-discipline.
Just as acts of service show love in a relationship, actions speak volumes in the love language of self-discipline. Take tangible steps toward your goals. Whether completing a task, overcoming a challenge, or learning a new skill, these acts of service demonstrate your commitment to the relationship with your aspirations.
The ultimate gift you will receive through self-discipline is a stronger relationship with yourself. All the positive consequences of being disciplined are secondary. Not to be diminished, the gratification of actually doing what you set out to do is great. However, learning yourself and the ways you respond best to self-discipline is a journey that will serve you well.
Embracing the love language of self-discipline involves understanding your individual needs and demonstrating commitment through consistent actions. Just like any relationship, it requires effort, patience, and a genuine desire to nurture and see it flourish. As you cultivate the love language of self-discipline, you empower yourself to create a life aligned with your deepest aspirations.
It’s not uncommon that new year goals get forgotten around late spring, according to Forbes the average resolution lasts around 3.7 months. Here is why:
Here are some things we are going to focus on when it comes to goal achievement.
The first step sets the path we are about to take. The first step to reach your New Year’s goals is to set them. How do we set a new goal?
Go beyond what you think you should set out to achieve, what is your body and soul asking for? You may think I ought to shed a few pounds, I really should eat healthier, I should make more money. But what is your gut telling you? What is your soul quietly crying out for? What runs through your mind when you silence the noise around you? There lies your true goal.
Vision board, script, whatever feels best to you. What is key about this step is having fun with it. Do what gets you in a flow state. When we are in a flow state, ideas and our best work come out of us in an uninterrupted way. If it’s using lots of different colorful pens, cutting out magazine images, or making a mood board on Canva. Make this process inspiring and enjoyable.
After looking inward and letting your creativity flow to visualize the goals, take a step back and look at what you’ve set out to achieve. Try to condense these abstract ideas into a list of tangible goals you are setting for yourself. Then we can begin the process of achieving them in a gentle way.
Just because you are taking on a gentle approach to goal-setting does not mean you have to be passive. Be stubborn about your goals, but flexible with your methods. The objective here is to make it easy to achieve your goals. Anticipate roadblocks, and how you will overcome them.
Take inventory of what you know about yourself.
Here is the American Psychological Association's guide to finding a therapist.
Brainstorm a routine that is simple and effective. Instead of a grueling 2-hour workout every day, can you start with a walk around the block followed by some squats and lunges?
Instead of taking on a whole new way of eating, can you change one meal per day? How can you make this simple for yourself? Consider:
Automate, so you free up some mind space and energy for putting the work in.
Pre-write in your planner or calendar check-ins. For example, if you have a goal of making a certain amount of money this year, you might want to have a budgeting/income plan before each month, and a review towards the end of the month.
For example, if you have a goal of making a certain amount of money this year, you might want to have a budgeting/income plan before each month, and review that plan towards the end of the month.
Make it a joy to set goals. Take yourself to coffee or lunch to review, brainstorm, or journal all that you want to achieve and your plan to get there. Release the tension of getting it all right.
While grounding is important, do not let being grounded lead to thinking you cannot elevate or change your ways. Know that you are human, but that humans do truly incredible things each and every day.
A quote we love is “Fall down 99 times, get up 100”. It is human to have a bad day or even a bad month. This is why anticipating downtime is crucial to setting goals in a gentle way.
Write yourself notes, leaving gentle reminders throughout your living space
Things like:
Small gestures like these are gentle reminders of what you’ve set out to do for yourself.
Finding your “why” is a big part of being realistic. These goals have not been set for no reason. What is it about your reality that you wish to change?
Why do you want to become more fit, why do you want to increase your income, why do you want to break unhealthy patterns in your relationships? Have an unfiltered, raw conversation with yourself.
Knowing the true reason why we want to set new goals for ourselves allows us to be realistic about who we are, and how we are going to make our dreams reality.
We know that you can accomplish absolutely anything you set your mind to. The path to achievement does not have to be one paved with more hardship than necessary. The great news is, there are actions you can take to have a gentler relationship with your New Year resolutions. We hope this article provides you with tangible ways to feel good about yourself and develop self-trust this new year. You got this!
Trust and Travel is a project I started with Erin Blacque. I was living in Bali when I had the opportunity to teach my first writing workshop (apart from Trust and Travel). I realized people wanted guidance and to learn the writing industry better. People wanted to know more about publishing, pitching, etc. Erin was a writer I admired. In 2019 we started our first retreat in Mexico.
What advice would you give to someone who really wanted to start traveling but did not know where to begin? The best way to begin is to just go. It can be hard when you look at the world and take in all the variety and all the options, but look inside of yourself, and I would look at what is important to you. Things get more clear when you do things with integrity. I’ve always wanted to travel, but if I were to just open a magazine and say “I want to go where these people are” that wouldn’t be authentic to me. I think success has so much to do with alignment and doing what feels true for you. Be authentic to yourself, to your heart, to your values. I think it's important for people who want to get into travel to think about why that is and then you’ll know where to go. Think about the reasons why that is.
How do you choose your destinations when planning retreats? When traveling on your own? When I am traveling on my own, the more remote [the place] the better, the more off the grid, remote, or exotic the better. When planning retreats, we choose places that are unique and special but are also a bit easier to land. We go to places owned by locals, there is a story behind every location we choose - no resorts. The owners of the places we stay create something from their hearts, with a lot of creativity and love behind their projects. We are mindful of other travelers - for example, Bali is a dream destination but the travel time is very intense. So we plan somewhere manageable and easier to land (but still very beautiful and exciting) for our retreats.
Can you tell us more about retreats? How do you join them and what are the benefits? Our retreats are focused on using writing for emotional, spiritual, and creative well-being. It’s a tool to get people to do work they haven’t been able to do in a long time to get into contact with their creativity or explore parts of themselves they haven’t been able to explore. We encourage people to have an interest in writing. We write a lot, 4-6 hours a day. But it’s not like a classroom, we host workshops and exercises, we set you up, and you can go and write on your own. It’s your retreat, if you want to swim and be by the pool then it's your retreat, but we set you up to write. It’s helpful to journal beforehand and practice writing a bit. An interest in writing is recommended, and a desire to be around other people and learn from others, it is a very social experience. It’s helpful for people to be open to the group dynamic - you get so much out of the people who are there, so an openness to being around others is important.
What is one of the most impactful lessons you have learned while traveling? To be okay with being alone and going alone, not waiting for others to want to do the same type of adventures as me. Some of my best moments traveling happened while I was alone. Also, never let your guard down, always be alert and attuned to your surroundings. The one time I let my guard down something very sketchy happened and it was a really good omen to stay always present and intentional. I'm not saying don't relax, I’m saying be present and humble so you can fully pay attention.
Where is one of the most memorable places you’ve been? Is there a story you’d like to share about it? I had some incredible months in Peru working with an indigenous community in a remote part of the Amazon. We were learning natural design techniques from indigenous women such as dying fibers with seeds and bark. We also worked to raise funds to install water filters in the villages since there was so much mercury contamination in their water source. It was a very meaningful trip, being so connected to the jungle and so off the grid. Trekking in the Andes was also one of my best memories, snow was falling and it was just us and the mountains. We slept in a hut made of straw in the snow with a fire inside, the indigenous guides made us a soup and we chewed coca leaves for hours in ceremony.
Are there any travel myths you’d like to bust? That traveling is dangerous, but in reality, I find that the true danger lies in not experiencing the world. To discriminate is more dangerous, and to “otherize” or look at people with judgment is so much more dangerous than to go out there and have an experience. Of course, take precautions, and do your homework. That is the beauty of retreats, if you are intimidated or unsure about doing something alone, we are professionals and take charge of everything. Once you sign up for a retreat all you have to do is book a flight. I think if you are intimidated to start traveling I think retreats are a great place to start. We offer scholarships for BIPOC writers, to make it an accessible experience. I just want to be clear, there are dangers in traveling, but there are also dangers in not doing so.
What are some benefits of travel that you feel people should know? The biggest takeaway from travel I think is the ability to put yourself in other people's shoes, I think it is so important to see how other people live, and the range of experiences other people have on this planet, get out of your bubble and comfort zone, it’s extremely growth-inducing, travel tests your inner wisdom, your intuition, traveling is the best school ever.
How do you maintain your routines while traveling? I’ve been a big meditator for a long time - meditation is the one thing don’t need to bring anything and can do it anywhere. Meditation has saved my life so many times, especially when traveling. I can meditate on a bus, on the plane, when I land, or when I go to bed. I think it's a great process to connect with yourself and not get overwhelmed. In terms of other routines, I’m still working on getting better at that like the gym. I have a pretty consistent routine at home, but while traveling not so much. I take yoga classes when I’m abroad. For example, when I was in Bangkok I took a hot yoga class in Thai and that was fun. Routines are really tough, but I always come back to meditation. Journaling is a good mediation as well.
Where do you get your inspiration from? Literature, so much of my inspiration is from literature. If I’m not writing I’m reading. I just finished Rebecca Solnit's Men Explain Things to Me. I also just started reading Angela Davis's autobiography. I also gain inspiration from nature, I’ve lived in nature most of my life. I grew up in Brazil so I need to be around warmth. Even though now I live in a city, I can see the water from here, I make sure I have natural light. I’m very inspired by the natural world and literature.
How do you write, or move forward with creative pursuits when you aren’t feeling inspired? Are there any rituals you have? I take time off. I go to work out, or to the beach, I read or listen to music. Sometimes you need space from the writing. One of my favorite rituals is making playlists and fake DJ'ing, which takes my mind off things. Traveling is also a guaranteed way to inspire myself, even on small road trips. Driving, blasting music, seeing new places, and being close to nature.
How can we get more inspiration while at home? For me, movement and learning. I’m one of those people who are never bored. For me, it’s doing something with my hands, cooking, painting, etc. Writing is something very cerebral and intellectual, when I can’t type another word or read another book, I can set things down and bake, or paint - just do something with my hands.
Tell us more about your experience as a writer, when did you start writing, how has your relationship evolved with writing? I studied political science, I was interested in politics and history but writing is just something that happened to me because I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, I tried doing other things, but was only happy when writing. [My relationship with writing] has evolved so much - from the beginning, I knew this was what I needed to do with my life, and it became a source of financial grounding for me. I knew that writing was something I would do for a career, and then it developed into something I loved to do, but not as a job anymore. It became something creative, something I did for work, and then back to a creative process, and now it is an offering. I do more guiding and teaching, mentoring, and now write poetry. Poetry is not something I ever created space for before but now is my thing. So it’s funny to see how things change and evolve as you grow, and also how the world changes.
How did you realize you were a writer? How might our audience realize there is a craft they may have? I liked writing when I was very young, and I found that to be interesting because no one else liked it. I was the one reading and writing as a kid. I have been writing in journals since I was ten. Coming from a big family and having a lot to say, I’m one out of six kids. Writing became a place of comfort for me. I kept a journal, I felt it was the way I knew I was heard. I felt, ‘I could express myself here and no one needs to know what my real thoughts are… but I know they exist.’ Coming from a big family it could be chaotic, and having a lot to say but not being given the space for it but taking to the pages as a form of rebellion in a way. I was also fascinated by and admired good writers. I would read things and go “I want to do that” I had a love for words.
As far as others owning their craft, only they know what's for them. I always say to be authentic and true to your heart. When do you feel your best? What can you not stop doing?
Whether it be a family member who has caused you trauma or a relative who asks just a few too many questions about your personal life, we’ve created a guide to visiting family over the holidays without losing your mind. Read more for our top five tips on protecting your peace this holiday season.
Once you are in a positive mindset, it will become easier to influence others to follow suit. It is hard to pick a fight with someone who is being wholeheartedly positive. Before seeing your family, get yourself in the best mindset possible. Taking a few moments to settle any nerves, or plan for how you will react if someone says something uncouth can prevent a potential disaster at the dinner table.
There is real meaning in the saying “kill them with kindness’. Taking the high road is a powerful move. You do not have to be overly warm or bubbly if you don’t wish to be, but a calm “hello, how are have you been” and remaining neutral when someone tries to get a rise out of you can go a long way in keeping the peace during family gatherings.
Here are some key factors of being kind over nice.
You can be a kind person, without allowing anyone to take advantage of your kindness.
Affirmations are a great way to enter a state of peace and well-being. Before you see guests that may cause you distress, repeat a few that set a calm, positive tone for you. A few to consider are:
We cannot change people, trying to “fix” the other person will be fruitless more often than not.
Even if someone in your life irritates or triggers you, accepting them for who they are is a weight off your shoulders. Understand that nobody is perfect, and everyone has imperfections.
Avoid imposing unrealistic expectations on others
Managing our expectations is a crucial part of keeping the peace during the holiday season.
Be honest with yourself, if someone is set in their ways it is unlikely a major breakthrough will take place with their behavior. Make peace with the fact that they may not change. This way, you can let go of your desire that their behavior will change and truly enjoy being present in the moment.
Be open to different perspectives and ways of life, instead of dwelling on someone's perceived flaws, focus on their positive qualities.
Setting boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. It involves clearly defining the limits of acceptable behavior, both for yourself and others. Setting boundaries is not a sign of selfishness, but rather an important component of self-care.
If you’re able to, try to set time limits for your outings. If you are going over to someone’s home, suggest driving in a separate car, or arranging for a graceful exit, like excusing yourself early to tend to a different obligation.
If people are coming over to your home, be sure to divide your attention equally among guests, and command the flow of the evening. Brainstorm the method you will use to gently let guests know it's time to head home.
Don’t hesitate to say that your weight, job, living situation, or partner is off-limits. There is a way to do this in a calm, cordial way.
An example of this could look like this: “Hi Aunt Maisha, my partner will be coming to the holiday party tonight. I ask that you please refrain from mentioning their appearance or how they dress. Thank you, look forward to seeing you!
If seeing family triggers you, be sure to prioritize your mental health during this time. Take small moments during the holiday season for alone time, so you can recharge your social battery.
Journal about your anxieties, or frustrations. Taking it out on paper saves you from taking it out on the person. Some prompts to consider during this time are:
(Taken from our Dig Deeper Journal)
There is no shame in needing a break from others. Alone time is a great opportunity to recharge, reflect, and reset. Some ways to get much-needed alone time are getting up before your family members and going on a walk, going to a cafe to read or do work, or going for a long drive solo.
Give thanks for all the good things you have, despite difficult family dynamics. Even including your family is a way to stay away from tense situations and focus on the true meaning of the holidays. Focus on all the glimmers of the holiday season. Are there any aspects of the holidays you truly enjoy? Things like:
Sometimes a family member or loved one may have an issue with us. We recommend fostering open communication where people feel heard and understood. Resolve conflicts through dialogue rather than judgment. There are a couple of action items you can do to extend an opportunity to mend things.
Having a conversation with someone who is upset with you can be challenging, but it's important to address the issue and work toward a resolution. Here are some tips for navigating such a conversation:
If there is a person in your life you want to make amends with, consider bringing them a small gift. Consider gifting something unique to them, or bring over a conversation deck so you can bond while steering discussions away from anything too heated or triggering.
Inviting people into your activities can be a way to extend an olive branch and shift attitudes in a positive way. There are plenty of ways to engage over the holidays.
The key is to invite them to do something fun that is low-conflict. Even if they decline, knowing you wanted them there can go a long way in making amends.
Holidays can come with more stress than we’d like, but you have the power to navigate unsavory family relationships with a calm demeanor.
P.S. Don’t find the perfect gift here? Check us out on Instagram for our full list of black-owned brands to shop from this year.
Give the gift of personal growth this year. During Black Friday, buy one, get one 50% off. Perfect before the New Year. You and your closest friend can spend 2024 building a daily wellness habit, learn more about yourselves through thought-provoking questions, and support efforts towards a better you.
In her book about finding self-acceptance both on and off the mat, Jessamyn Stanley writes about “Yoke” the Sanskrit word for yoga.
“To yoke mind and body, movement and breath, light and dark, the good and the bad. This larger idea of “yoke” is what Jessamyn Stanley calls the yoga of the everyday—a yoga that is not just about perfecting your downward dog but about applying the hard lessons learned on the mat to the even harder daily project of living.” (Amazon)
“The Happy Hour Edition is a light-hearted and connecting conversation game that helps establish trust for deeper conversations. Perfect for date night, game night, intentional conversation starters, dinner parties, and your self-care journaling practice” (Actually Curious)
The Once a Day Multivitamin contains 8+ Micro-Nutrients Essential For Your Growth, Mood, Health, and well-being. These gummy vitamins:
These assorted bandages come in five different shades, are latex-free, and have a clear wrapper so you know exactly which shade you are getting. For under $5, these are a gift everyone can use!
Created for the woman who fancies romance, allure, and sexiness. Flattered by the heart motif and whisked away by the barely-there design. Tell a story, create a character, and revel in your moment before it ends for the night. This is Lovestruck, the piece, the shoe, the signature. Featuring our custom open heart design and “arrow” inspired heel. (Arch NYC)
This highly-rated gem has the design and feel of a luxury item.
Crafted with meticulous attention to detail, this necklace will serve elegance and sophistication. The trendy M logo is 18k Gold Plated. (Murway Official)
A A K S was founded by Akosua Afriyie-Kumi with the goal of introducing the world to her favourite weaving techniques by the women of Ghana, increasing awareness around ethical production processes and encouraging sustainable consumption in the fashion world. Handcrafted in Ghana, A A K S creates handbags in styles that seeks to conserve the provenance of weaving as an art form, accentuated with the bright exuberant colours of Africa. (AAKS online)
A retro design with a fresh twist made in Los Angeles, USA.
House of Aama is a culturally inspired lifestyle brand rooted in the ethos of the African continent and diaspora (House of Aama)
Adjustable drawstrings allow you to tighten the cap, silked-lined for hair protection and a classic design.
REỌNA is a luxury womenswear brand that creates high-quality, comfortable, and functional ready-to-wear pieces that can be worn year-round, season to season (REONA)
This oil-to-gloss treatment nourishes lips and adds a comfortable, non-sticky shine. Available in six shades.
The drip your beard needs. A non-greasy, lightweight solution that packs all the punch. Bevel Beard Oil adds sheen to your beard and reduces dryness, frizz, and breakage, all without clogging your pores. (Bevel)
This spa-like duo smooths, lifts, and hydrates skin while releasing negative energy from the body through full-body circulation. The SHAPE SHIFTER tool supports lymphatic drainage through ritualistic healing while FEATHERWEIGHT assists with glide and delivers intense hydration and collagen-enhancing goodness. (Oui the People)
Hanahana beauty boasts the message “Beauty with Intention”
We’re creating results-driven products for body and face, with ethically sourced ingredients, starting with shea butter sourced directly from producers in Tamale, Ghana. (Hanahana Beauty)
Bring all your beauty favorites, breeze through TSA and break up with single-use plastics. (Ries Ries)
“The colors and sounds of my native Barranquilla enliven my love for culture and tradition. A table with the soul of dance, represented by the checkered pattern of the vichy squares of the skirts of the cumbiamberas on fine tabletop-decorated by hand by Carmen de Viboral artisans, transports to me the joy of the whistle of a millo flute and the rumble of the tambora of a cumbia” (Maison de Mode)
The founder of Estelle Colored Glass has named the collection in honor of her grandmother, Estelle, who she describes as "a jewel of a person that instilled in me an appreciation of the pastime of treasure hunting for beautiful finds -- especially for the kitchen which was the heart of her home." (Estelle Colored Glass)
Hand-poured in Baltimore County with natural soy derived from domestically grown soy beans for an eco-friendly, clean burn. Uses a lead-free cotton wick primed with vegetable based wax and premium grade fragrance oil. No added dyes or chemicals. (Domain by Laura Hodgess Studio)
Mostly ginger vinegar with some citrus vinegar and wild foraged nettle vinegar to create a complex flavor profile with notes of spicy, warm, bitter, and pungent citrus. Fermented for over a year. (Yowie)
This five-piece kit has absolutely everything you need to keep a plant alive. Even the most negligent plant parents will be able to tend to the air plant provided in this set.
]]>On November 4, Awe Inspired hosted ITO at the Awe Sanctuary for a 30-minute yoga session. Twelve LA-based content creators and editors attended and enjoyed a restorative yoga flow and breath work event hosted by Steph Stock.
“I believe that what we practice on the mat we take with us out into the world. Each practice is a reminder of our resilience, a testament of our fortitude and a practice of gratitude. It's my hope that each class allows you an opportunity to explore your limits, honor your boundaries and gather your lessons so you can move forward in the world with grace and gratitude.” - Steph Stock
OLIPOP, Suja Organics, Matcha Mcentea and Alyssa Brieloff kindly sponsored the event.
Gift bags included Notes to Self Journal, Dig Deeper Journal, a water bottle, angel socks from Alyssa Brielof, and facial serums from Matcha Mcentea
A note from Nya: “I loved the opportunity to connect with our community in person and spend time centering myself. The yoga instructor was amazing and I definitely needed that breathwork and relaxation as a founder. I’m so excited to continue offering in-person experiences and connecting with people IRL.”
On November 5, Inside Then Out collaborated with In Todo Fair to create a safe space for vulnerability. Guests attended our booth to engage with thought-provoking prompts from our popular journals: Better Every Day & Dig Deeper. This experience was designed to help individuals feel more connected to themselves by providing intentional prompts to start their day.
In Todo is a curated craft fair bringing visibility to the craft of BIPOC creatives in our communities. Across the landscapes of art, apparel, beauty, food, and home, In Todo centers diversity in the space of creating, filling the gap in representation.
Gratitude is an emotion or attitude characterized by a sense of thankfulness and appreciation for the good things in life. It involves recognizing and acknowledging the kindness, support, gifts, experiences, or positive aspects of life, both big and small. Gratitude can be directed towards others, the world, and even oneself, and it involves recognizing the inherent value and worth of what is appreciated.
Gratitude has been called an “affirmation of goodness”. When we practice gratitude we affirm that good things can and do happen to us and others. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some goodness in our lives. (Ref: Greater Good Magazine | UC Berkeley)
The act of gratitude shifts our mindsets, and what begins in the mind soon affects the body and beyond. Researchers have found that practicing gratitude not only makes us feel better emotionally but has direct effects on our physical and mental health.
Positive psychology is a brand of psychology that focuses on living well. Living well means living optimally, in a way that supports the goals you have for your life. Gratitude is a major component of positive psychology.
In an article by Harvard Health, three tenants of positive psychology are reported:
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.
Ref: Harvard Health
Science shows that gratitude has tremendous impacts on physical and mental health. Something as simple as sitting down with a pen and notebook each night can prevent illness, strengthen relationships, and improve quality of life overall.
Numerous journals have reported health benefits correlated with gratitude including:
Not only does a daily gratitude practice put out positive energy, but is also a transformative wellness practice that literally makes you healthier. Like finding glimmers, finding things to be grateful for just takes a bit of attention and mindfulness. Once it becomes a habit, taking daily moments of gratitude will become second nature.
Routine is a gift to the mind and body. Just as you might seek consistency in a fitness routine or your skincare, you can seek consistency in taking moments of gratitude. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you back.
Gratitude journaling has been touted as one of the most effective ways of practicing gratitude.
The act of writing them down reinforces your sense of gratitude. In addition to various health benefits, the act of writing down what you feel grateful for has an impact on lifestyle and productivity.
The holiday season is a great time to bring out thank you cards, but there are plenty of opportunities year-round to thank someone in your life. People to send thanks to could be:
Spreading positivity by letting others know you’re grateful for them supports feelings of community. Making another person feel special creates a domino effect of well-being, your small act of kindness will affect others you may not even know.
In researching the transformative effects of gratitude, we’ve gathered these three main takeaways:
During this month of gratitude, we encourage you to take time to express what makes you feel genuinely grateful, and share with others what comes to mind.
This week on the blog we interviewed two breast cancer advocates, Aisha Patterson and Allyn Rose Oertel to discuss their journeys as they relate to breast cancer, mental health, and activism.
Tell us about yourself. What is your story? When were you diagnosed? What was your path to becoming a breast health advocate?
My name is Aisha (eye-sha) Patterson.
I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer when I was 30 years old. I was breastfeeding my son during the time I found the lump. I ignored it because I assumed it was a clogged milk duct. A few months later, two more lumps popped and that prompted me to go to the doctor. I had a mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy all within a span of three weeks. On November 18, 2020, my husband and I sat in front of a friendly nurse who told me that the lumps in my breast were positive for breast cancer. I was devastated. I soon began treatment which included 6 rounds of aggressive chemotherapy, a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, and 33 rounds of radiation.
As a dedicated wife and mom, treatment took a major toll on my family. Most of the day-to-day responsibilities fell on my husband while I healed. He ran his business from home, homeschooled our children to reduce my exposure to COVID-19, and was my full-time caregiver.
I completed all of my treatment in December of 2021. Throughout the entire year of treatment, I shared my story on Instagram and TikTok. I remember asking God to use my story and He did. I began advocating for women of color and women under 40 who would be diagnosed with breast cancer. It became my purpose in life. I advocate for better breast health education, health equity, and more.
Fast forward to today, I am happily living on a small farm in the country with my husband of 11 years and 4 kids. We own ducks, chickens, and pigs, and have goats on the way! I’m an avid gardener and lover of growing my own food. It's a dream come true and I'm living my best post-cancer life.
I never thought I would be diagnosed with breast cancer at 30 years old but I wouldn't have changed it.
How did your diagnosis change you and the way you see yourself?
The diagnosis immediately changed me in the best way. For once, in my adult life, I had no choice but to focus on myself. I took off my superwoman cape and I allowed myself to be cared for and to rest. I went through chemo while we were in the thick of the pandemic and due to being immunocompromised, I had to quarantine away from my family anytime they were sick which felt like all the time. Being separated from my family was one of the hardest parts of the entire journey. However, during that time alone, I found myself. It was in the silence that I began healing and learning who I really was. Not the mom or wife…just me. Aisha.
I learned who she was. I began to see myself as a whole person. I began to give myself the love I always deserved. It was a beautiful transformation. My husband and kids are the most important people in my life and I love them with my entire being. However, treatment helped me to see my worth as an individual. Not just wife and mom. I love them so much but I love myself more and take care of myself with great care so I can be alive for them. Cancer taught me how important it is to put myself first and fill my cup.
How did your diagnosis impact your mental health?
The diagnosis greatly impacted my mental health and it still does today. Cancer treatment is hard and very scary. There are so many ups, downs, and unexpected turns. It was very challenging to stay positive and not think about dying and leaving my family behind. Once I finished treatment, I thought I would go back to my normal life but it was anything but that. Once I finished treatment, I struggled greatly. I had anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a great deal of medical trauma to unpack. It was extremely challenging trying to rebuild my life while trying to be a good wife and mom again. I was so afraid of the cancer coming back that some days, it was hard to function. I couldn’t live like that anymore. I remember writing down a list of all the things that brought me joy and what I wanted from my “new life.” I then went on a quest to rebuild my life on my terms. It was scary yet exhilarating to feel like I could create a life that filled me up. It was very intentional and it worked!! Life after treatment hasn’t been easy but I’m finally living a life that I love, and deserve and I’m happy to show up for every day.
What did you do to care for your mental health during this time?
During that time, I went to therapy, I used affirmations regularly and I leaned into my support group of breasties. Also a lot of prayer.
Did you have a support network? How did you find it?
I had an amazing support network! My friends and family rallied around me near and far. I felt very loved and supported throughout my treatment. It was beautiful.
I also found support in the breast cancer community on Instagram. My breasties. A community of survivors, patients, thrivers, and previvors… all people who just get it and the struggle of being a young cancer patient. They encouraged me, shared advice with me, and cheered me on through every milestone. When no one else understood, they did. Many of them have become my closest friends. I’m very grateful for the Instagram breast cancer community.
At what age range should we start doing breast exams at home, and how often?
We should start doing breast exams once we develop breasts. At least, that’s what I’ve been recommending to my own daughter. While breast cancer is not common at the young age of 14, I want to ingrain breast health in her now so it comes naturally throughout her life.
Breast exams should be done at least once per month. However, the focus should be on getting to know how our breasts normally look and feel, and in the event of a change, we should speak to our doctors. This means touching them and looking at them regularly. If we don’t make an intentional effort to get to know them, it will be hard to know if something is off. So get to know those breasts, ladies! Listen to your body. Know your normal!
Why is it important for younger women to consider their own breast health?
It’s important that young women consider their breast health because young women can get breast cancer too! I was diagnosed when I was 30 and I know of women as young as 18 that was diagnosed. It’s important that we get familiar with our breasts, listen to our bodies, and advocate for ourselves at the doctor's office in case we do find something abnormal. If a doctor dismisses your concerns, that’s a red flag and you should specifically ask for testing or find a new doctor.
What are some of the main concerns or worries you get approached about by your community? How can we help calm anxiety surrounding breast cancer?
The main concern is when women find a lump. They often aren’t sure what to do or which doctor to talk to about it with. It’s important that you simply schedule a visit with your general doctor or OGBYN. If they say you are too young for testing or for cancer, specifically ask for testing anyway. If they still refuse, find a new doctor immediately. I want to add that there are 12 signs of breast cancer that we should be aware of as well. It’s not just lumps. Here are the 12 signs according to Know Your Lemons (a breast health app all women should have)
What advice would you give to anyone struggling with cancer or other health conditions?
I would tell them to acknowledge that they are in the driver's seat of their health. No one is coming to save them. It’s important that we as patients, take control of our health. That means advocating for ourselves, researching our condition, and clearly communicating our needs to our doctors. Use your voice! Your life may depend on it.
Is there anything else you want our audience to know about you, your cause, or breast cancer awareness?
Unfortunately, as young women and women of color, the cancer industry is not set up to provide great outcomes for women of color or women under 40. Year after year, black women remain 41% more likely to die from breast cancer than white women. Incident and mortality rates of breast cancer continue to rise for women under 40 yet we aren’t even mentioned in the breast cancer screening guidelines. This is the reality.
I consider myself an activist because I have no desire to fit into the mold to change it. This is a hill I am willing to die on. I will boldly use my platform to speak out, consult, and offer solutions to the problem. I do this work so I can see a better tomorrow for my daughter who will now have to start mammogram screening at the age of 25 because I became the family history when I was diagnosed. I will never quit because so much depends on it. Whatever injustice makes your heart roar, I hope you’ll do the same.
Tell us about yourself. What is your story? What was your path to becoming a breast health advocate?
My name is Allyn Rose Oertel and my journey to becoming a breast cancer advocate started with the loss of my mother when I was 16. After losing my mother, grandmother, and great aunt to breast cancer, I knew that this was something that could very likely impact my life and I made the decision to undergo a preventative double mastectomy in my 20s (knowing that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 20s). I was a Miss America contestant when I first shared my story publicly. It went viral around the world and completely changed the trajectory of my life and afforded me the opportunity to speak to my generation about preventive healthcare.
Breast cancer is a cause that is greatly important to you, tell us about starting The Previvor and what that process was like.
After undergoing a mastectomy and publicly sharing the process, I quickly realized that it was incredibly difficult for women undergoing mastectomy to access information about all of their mastectomy and breast reconstruction choices. Thousands of women reached out to me over the years asking for information so I decided to build a global information hub for women considering surgery to aid them in the process. I started with a budget of zero and a 10-year-old laptop on my living room sofa. I’m blown away by what it’s become.
What did the journey of deciding to get a mastectomy look like? Where was your mental health at during that time?
It was very challenging to pull the final trigger to have a mastectomy, especially in my 20s. I was working as a full-time model, I was a former pageant contestant and so much of my public identity was wrapped up in the way that I looked. Making the decision to forego my vanity for my future health and my future family was something that took a while to process. However, once I made the decision, I never looked back. It was a journey to love my new normal, but I’m grateful for my friends, family, and husband who helped me along the way.
How did your diagnosis/genetic testing results change you and the way you see yourself?
I tested negative for all known “cancer gene mutations” which was surprising to me, especially with my strong family history. My breast surgeon said to me “you don’t have BRCA, but you likely have something we just can’t test for yet. It still makes sense based on your genetic history to undergo this procedure.” Having the support of my surgical team was very validating in making the final choice, despite not having a clear mutation.
How did your diagnosis/results impact your mental health?
Sharing my story publicly brought a lot of scrutiny and when I tested negative, it opened the door for the naysayers to second-guess my decision.
What did you do to care for your mental health during this time?
I journaled a lot during the process because it helped me put any concerns, frustrations, or rouge thoughts out of my conscious mind. I also tried my best to share my feelings with friends and family.
Did you have a support network? How did you find it?
My family and friends were a great support during the process. I was also dating someone at the time (my now husband) who was invaluable in helping me heal, physically and emotionally.
Most women in their 20s and 30s aren’t really thinking about breast cancer. How can we change that? And why is it important that we spread this awareness?
I do my best to share relevant information with women in their 20s and 30s about breast cancer. It’s easy to think that it’s an “old woman’s disease,” which simply isn’t true. Breast cancer rates in women 30-40 have increased by almost 20% in recent years - that’s terrifying. Providing women with practical tools like knowing how to do a self-breast exam I think is the best line of defense.
What are some of the main concerns or worries you get approached about by your community? How can we help calm anxiety surrounding breast cancer?
The main concerns with young women are traditionally how they are going to look afterward and how it may impact current and future relationships. I know that women who are better informed have better results and are statistically happier with their outcomes. That’s why it’s so important for me to offer women options like The Previvor to learn about their options.
What advice would you give to anyone struggling with cancer or other health conditions?
Find your support system and keep them close. Breast cancer can be incredibly isolating but it’s okay and necessary to ask for help.
How can we show support to our community who is affected by this disease?
Donate to organizations that provide educational resources and those that actually fund research - particularly stage 4 breast cancer research.
The Previvor Foundation is a team of previvors, survivors, caretakers, business owners, and physicians, dedicated to providing you with comprehensive information regarding your choices for mastectomy and reconstruction, genetic testing, as well as provide access to the essential items needed for a smooth recovery.
Breast cancer awareness is not just an issue for women over 35; we all benefit from breast cancer awareness. By staying informed, performing regular self-exams, and seeking support, you can take control of your health. Remember, early detection can save lives, so prioritize your well-being and empower yourself through knowledge and proactive steps.
Nutrition, water intake, fresh air, and a clean environment are the major tenets of self-care. During times of crisis, self-care is critical. Here is a refresher on the basics:
You aren’t any less of an ally if you need to take a break from explicit or intense content. Your time spent on social media does not reflect how deeply you care for others. You may experience feelings of guilt during this time for needing to take a break from online content - know that times of crisis are beyond your control, and it is normal for this news to be distressing.
Taking breaks can take a variety of forms.
Being informed about the world's issues is essential, but constantly bombarding yourself with negative news can increase anxiety. Set boundaries for your media consumption and choose trusted sources that provide balanced perspectives. Unfortunately, sometimes the coverage we come across is not made purely for the purpose of sharing information. Sometimes the intention behind a post, story, or article is not in good faith. Misinformation can and does occur. If and when you feel ready to log back on, consider using a fact checker. UC Berkley compiled a list of fact-checkers and information on determining the legitimacy of your news source.
Approaching online content mindfully is a wise choice. Being thoughtful and careful to read and share information that is accurate, with a calm state of mind is a great approach to take. Not only are you limiting the spread of misinformation, but you are also being considerate of your own well-being and others.
It is commendable to want to support a cause close to your heart. Thankfully, this does not mean that you have to sacrifice your mental health to do so. Your support can be most impactful when you are well taken care of.
Small acts of kindness go a long way in daily life. Remember, virtually everyone is also taking in this content. During a crisis, emotions run high, and many feel on alert. A simple smile to a stranger or holding the door for the person behind you serves as microcurrents of goodwill that can go far to spread kindness. The American Psychiatric Association reports that small acts of kindness can help reduce anxiety and depression. Some powerful acts of kindness they encourage are:
Feeling inspired? The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has published a list of kindness ideas for you to try today. Note that small acts of kindness can be towards yourself as well. During times of crisis, both self and community care go a long way.
Hopelessness is not uncommon when constantly faced with coverage of a global crisis. Your actions, no matter how small, can make a difference. Some may find it comforting to channel their feelings of worry or despair into action. If you find it beneficial to become involved in a cause of your choosing, here are some ways you can use your resources:
When we are inundated with content containing violence, graphic content, or disturbing news, we may need an outlet to express our heartbreak or shock. There are ways to let those feelings out that can even serve as gentle reminders for others to also care for themselves, such as:
Remember, strong emotions show that you care. It is deeply important that you take care of your emotional health during times of crisis. Without noticing, our emotions may wear on us, causing for more intense issues along the way.
The energy of the world can feel very heavy, so it is important to be frank with yourself about how you are coping. In times of crisis, our mental health can wildly vary.
Know that you've faced challenges in the past and have come through them. While global crises are daunting, your own resilience and ability to adapt are strengths that will help you navigate these uncertain times.
It’s okay to not be okay. If you are having a hard time coping with distressing news, that is perfectly normal. Allow yourself to experience a range of emotions and be gentle with yourself. Your wellness is important, but that does not mean that you have to put on a happy face all the time. There's strength in acknowledging when you're not okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. Seeking help or sharing your feelings with someone you trust is a sign of courage, not weakness.
We are not facing this alone. Check in with your loved ones, be honest about how you are doing, and allow them to do the same. In times of crisis, people often come together to support one another. This sense of community and solidarity can be a source of strength and comfort.
Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or mental health professionals if you're struggling with anxiety or worry related to global or personal crises. Talking to someone about your concerns can be incredibly reassuring.
Crises, especially on a large scale, often appear insurmountable, but history shows that humanity has overcome significant challenges. Progress may be slow, but positive change is possible. Take care of yourself and remember that you are not alone.
We want to leave you with these six takeaways on caring for your mental health during crisis:
Tell us a bit about yourself and your background
I have a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) and have been doing this work for the last 6 to 7 years. After I did my bachelor’s, I started working in community mental health, and that’s when I knew I wanted to do private practice and therapy. During that time I completed my master’s, and I started social media with psychoeducation In 2021 I started a private practice, The Cognitive Corner. We do individual therapy, group therapy, and workshops. What made you start posting content on social media Initially, it started with the purposes of psychoeducation content, infographics, and things like that. I saw that there isn’t a lot of mental health representation. I had seen a few mental health pages [on social media] but what I noticed was there was a lack of black representation in the mental health space, and so I wanted to be a part of that voice to give the diversity needed in the field.
Where did your passion for mental health come from?
I knew I wanted to go into some sort of “people-helping” career. Initially, I thought I would go into family law, but after learning more about law I decided that wasn’t my avenue. I think the passion came from seeing family members and friends struggle with mental health and my own personal struggle with mental health. I think that especially in the black community we don’t talk about [mental health] very much, it’s sort of a ‘that exists, but it’s them and not us’ and I think that was a big part of it. When I was looking for a therapist myself. I had a hard time finding someone who looked like me, and that kind of solidified that I wanted to be in this field.
What are some key things you would recommend when looking for a therapist?
I would say important things to consider are: what you are looking to work on? I always recommend doing a consultation, that consultation [with a therapist] can be a really great way to get more information about the therapist, and the way that they practice. Especially if you’re a person of color, ask them the tough questions like:
The title of this blog post is, “What is Wellness Truly?” What does wellness truly mean to you?
To put it simply, wellness is taking care of yourself even when you don’t feel like it. Wellness can be journaling and candles, but wellness is also budgeting, making food, going grocery shopping, cleaning your house, and having tough conversations with people. There is a perception of wellness like wearing your matching set and lighting a candle. But wellness is also the times you don’t feel like cleaning your house, or checking your bank account [and doing it anyway] that is also wellness. What we’re trying to do is cultivate a life where you primarily feel well, and acknowledge when you don’t feel well. How can you manage the things that are in your control, so that you’re on a trend of generally feeling good about your life and how you live it. Wellness is when you are primarily feeling well and how you manage the things that are in your control.
On social media, you talk a lot about body awareness, what are some ways we can bring awareness into our bodies?
I think it starts with taking a look at things you are already doing. For example, when you are in the shower, what does the water feel like on your body? A lot of times we’re on autopilot and we’re doing things like eating, watching TV, etc without the actual awareness that we are constantly getting physical sensations from our environment but when we are able to slow down and ask “What does this actually feel like?” then that allows us to start being more in-touch and intentional and gauge if it feels positive, negative, or neutral.How can we begin to destigmatize caring for your mental health? Especially in communities of color.
I think it comes down to openly talking about it [with each other]. There isn’t really any action if there is no talking. So I think once we get talking about the fact that we all have mental health, sometimes it’s poor, sometimes it’s great, and what contributes to that. [Once we have those conversations] the easier it becomes to actually do something about it.
And how can we get those conversations going?
I would start with safe people, talking openly with people who have your safety in mind. I think another part of wellness is if you are going to be vulnerable and share your experiences, are you sharing with people who have your safety in mind? The grieving process of not being able to go to certain people for support is really important as well.
What are some common misconceptions you see about wellness?
That you’re always supposed to feel good. I think that there is this expectation that even when you have bad days you have to you manage them a certain way, and sometimes that is just not the case. Sometimes you’re sad and in bed all day watching Netflix and that’s okay too.
Nowadays we are bombarded with different ways to practice wellness. How can we make wellness more accessible?
Monitoring how much information you’re taking in. If you want to implement some self-help or wellness, start small. Take a few aspects of [what you’re learning] and experiment with them. Start implementing one or two things and see if it works for you, if it goes that’s great, but if not, then you know you can leave it.
How can we maintain a wellness practice?
I think it comes down to not being so rigid with yourself. When it comes to a wellness practice or routine, sometimes we make this assumption that we are going to feel the same every day, but a big part is being flexible enough with your routine. Wellness one day might look like “Today I won’t leave anything behind on the floor”, and then wellness the next day can look like vacuuming or mopping. I think it’s about how can I be flexible enough so that on the days when what I actually need is some rest or I need to do a bit more, there is flexibility for those things.
If you were to meet someone who was completely new to the world of mental wellness, where would you point them first?
I would say before adopting a new practice take inventory of what is working and what is not working in their lives currently. What typically makes you feel positive/negative? Then you can gain an understanding of how things in your life are currently impacting you and what are some things I might want to change to be different.
What can we do at home to take better care of ourselves?
The first thing that comes to mind is how you can create an environment that works for you, that works with you, and not against you. When I say works for you, I am referring to what is, what is functional for you. [Because of social media], we are very aware of the pressure of aesthetics and the perfect-looking home, and that works for some, but really getting down to what works for you as an individual.
What is the importance of journaling in caring for your mental health?
This form of processing allows you to get thoughts and emotions out from the day, put them on the page and leave it there. It can serve as a containment for your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can also be a tool to reflect. When we reflect just with our memory, we can romanticize or catastrophize things.Recent cultural shifts have inspired us to pursue passion projects and go after our wildest dreams. However, there is a practical dilemma to consider when it comes to living out our purpose: how do we nurture our passions when we have bills to pay?
One of the first questions you should ask yourself is what is the passion that you wish to nurture? Some of us have a clear idea of what ignites us, but many are left with a longing to connect to our true passion. Discovering what fuels us doesn’t have to be complicated. Your passion doesn’t need to be this grand, newsworthy statement and there doesn’t need to be one singular thing that you are passionate about. What is most important is focusing on the little things that bring you joy and excitement. You can begin to discover your passions by asking yourself these three questions (taken from our Dig Deeper Journal):
Our younger years were often the time when we were truest to ourselves. We were not concerned with what others thought of us, how we were going to make ends meet, or the complications that come with being an adult. Take a moment to reflect on your childhood. How were your favorite moments spent as a child? What did you want to be when you grew up?
We asked this question recently over on Instagram. Here’s what one follower replied:
Shanel: “I’ve always wanted to be an art teacher, now I own my jewelry and candle business”
Getting in touch with and healing your inner child serves as the foundation for an adult life well-lived. For many of us, connecting with our inner child can be a difficult thing to do. If you also find this relatable, our post on healing your inner child may be for you.
The answer to this question just may contain some hidden passions you were unaware of!
If you would relax on a beach, or lounge at an all-exclusive resort, your passions might include activities that bring about peace and tranquility. Using your creativity in a quiet manner or working with your hands may be something you find enjoyable. Passions you may enjoy nurturing are:
If you opt for a getaway a bit more action-packed like sightseeing or skiing, you may have passions that get you to mobilize yourself or others such as:
Visualization is a crucial step in nurturing your passions. Envisioning what nurturing our passions looks like encompasses many aspects of our daily lives. Taking a holistic approach to setting and achieving personal goals starts from within. Visualization comes from a place of inspiration and devotion to self.
Is nurturing your passion something that already fits into your routine, or is a game plan in order?
Grab a notebook and ask yourself the following questions:
Remember that the possibilities truly are endless, there are no bounds to what you can achieve. That said, take your visualization a step ahead. Only focusing on the positive aspects of achieving your goals is one thing - but planning for obstacles is another. Visualize potential obstacles and setbacks, but also envision yourself overcoming them. This mental preparation can make you more resilient in the face of challenges.
Big dreams don’t become accomplished overnight. Realistic goal setting involves meeting yourself where you are. Start small with small, achievable goals and build up from there.
The best goals are specific and easy to accomplish. Think of the 5 W’s:
Who: Who am I achieving this goal for? Is there anyone I may need to collaborate with to help reach this goal?
What: What is the goal exactly? How will I know, without doubt, that I’ve achieved it?
When: What day of the week, time of day, or how often am I setting this goal?
Where: Where will I complete this goal? Do I have to make special arrangements to complete it like setting a quiet, distraction-free space, or driving to a different location?
Why: Why am I setting this goal? What is my motivator here?
Turning dreams into reality is made possible one step at a time. Dedicate time each day or week to make progress Remember that is a journey, and it may not always follow a linear path. Embrace the process, stay committed, and give yourself credit for going after what fuels you.
Visualization is a powerful tool, but it should be combined with practical action and commitment to achieving your goals. Developing methods to keep you on track and encouraged will help you nurture your passion while maintaining a 9-5.
There’s no underestimating the benefits of investing in yourself. Investing in your passions is simply an extension of investing in yourself. While investments will look different for each person, some ways we can nurture our passions are:
Our time is a non-renewable resource, and how we spend is something to take seriously. Investing your time is just as important, if not more, than financial investments. Keeping track of your time will help you find the time to nurture your passions while you still have bills to pay.
Over the course of the month, how would you like to see your passions nurtured? Mapping out your month is one way to set yourself up for success. Looking at the month ahead helps you plan week-by-week, and so forth. Start each month by planning out the big things.
Be sure to check in with yourself on a weekly basis. Assess your state of mind, energy levels, and what you accomplished. Ask yourself:
Shop Daily Focus Notepad
How are your daily 24 hours being used? Be sure to allot time each day for:
Staying consistent takes effort. Sometimes we need a daily reminder of who we are and where we’d like to be. Using Sticky Notes is a great way to write yourself notes of encouragement. Remember: No one is like you, and no one can do exactly what you can.
Affirmations you can repeat daily are:
If one of your goals is to turn your passion into a career, we get you. Our Story began when CEO and founder Nya Jones found herself on a personal journey to become more intentional with her life. At Inside Then Out we want to encourage our community to believe in themselves and nurture their passions however they see fit.
Leaving your full-time job to completely nurture your passions may not feel feasible. Taking small steps towards turning your passion into your full-time profession is a way to ease into your ideal lifestyle. Here are some tips to get you started:
If possible, adding a part-time job in addition to your current employment is a way to bring in more cash and learn about the field you are interested in. There are many part-time jobs that can fit into your schedule and nurture your passions. For example:
An avenue to consider is finding a career path you can switch over to completely that will help you nurture your passion such as:
Without an “in” paving your way in a new industry can seem daunting. What’s reassuring is that you can make a space for yourself in any industry, no matter who you are. When you really think about it, these people share the same passions as you, they are your community too. There are plenty of people out there who want to share their passions with others, waiting to be connected.
Identify the individuals or groups you want to connect with. This could include professionals in your industry, peers with similar interests, mentors, or potential employers. Facebook groups and LinkedIn communities are both great ways to connect with people from anywhere in the world. Sending out a quick but friendly message to profiles that meet the criteria of your ideal connection can go a long way.
Do not be afraid to put yourself out there. Getting out of your comfort zone is known to boost creativity, make you more adaptable, and strengthen your self-esteem. Attend social functions related to your interests. These events provide opportunities to meet like-minded people who can help with your new venture. Remember that a simple hello and handshake can go a long way. Networking is about building genuine relationships, not just collecting contacts. A relaxed attitude and genuine interest in what others have to say will set you apart from the crowd.
Remember that overnight success is a myth. Have grace with yourself as you navigate pursuing your passion. Taking your life into your own hands is an act of bravery. Be proud of the work you do and the attempts you make towards a more purposeful way of living.
So, how do you nurture your passions when you have bills to pay? We’ve found that the answer can be broken down into four main points:
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Glimmers are tiny micro-moments of joy that allow us to feel calm and give us a sense of inner peace, a term coined by Deb Dana, LCSW, psychotherapist and author. Imagine seeing the light peer into your room on a calm morning, or the smell of the perfume you wore on your first date with your partner. Different stimuli that encourage feelings of joy, peace, or serenity. Unlike big moments that bring on positive feelings, like graduating, getting promoted, or moving to a new city, glimmers are small everyday moments that bring on warm feelings.
Just like a glimmer of light, which can be missed if you aren’t really looking, emotional glimmers are tiny sparks of joy. The more we focus our attention on them, the more we see that light and love surround us on a daily basis.
A glimmer can be:
Our nervous system serves as our body's surveillance system. The nervous system is critical to our emotional health. Both our moods and emotional responses are regulated by the nervous system. Our nervous system allows us to experience a wide range of emotions and react accordingly, influencing our social interactions and overall well-being.
Every day, without even being conscious of it, our nervous system is constantly scanning our surroundings. When our nervous system senses danger (a trigger) it sends out an alert for our fight or flight response to kick in. When our nervous system senses a glimmer, a cue for safety, we become more socially engaged. When our nervous system picks up on a glimmer, we feel more calmed and relaxed. (Ref: Therapy With Abby)
Glimmers enhance our connection with ourselves and others.. Glimmers often involve connecting with the people and environment around you. Small acts of kindness like holding the door, offering assistance to someone in need, or sending a thoughtful message can create positive glimmers. These interactions reveal that we are all connected, creating a sense of belonging. We also learn more about ourselves the more we pay attention to our glimmers. For example, when you tune into your internal state, you may notice how calm you feel when you hear the rain outside. Whether it's sharing a laugh with a friend or taking a moment to appreciate nature, these connections are essential for our well-being.
In our last blog post, we talked about ways to manage triggers. Another way to help offset the stress or anxiety triggers can bring on is by tuning into what calms us down. Once aware that our nervous system is in a state of arousal, we can take a moment to breath deeply and turn our mind to more positive stimuli. The next time you begin to feel triggered, try taking a breath and notice three things in your environment that spark joy.
As we tune into our nervous system in a more positive way, our stress levels decrease. With both triggers and glimmers, our nervous system becomes activated. However, we experience glimmers during a relaxed state. By taking more notice of our glimmers, and seeking out more of them, we decrease our stress levels.
Glimmers simply feel good! Glimmers often involve things you feel grateful for. Harvard Health reported that practicing gratitude has been linked to increased happiness and better quality of life. In addition, experiencing glimmers can lead to the release of dopamine, the brain chemical associated with pleasure and reward. This can create a sense of happiness and satisfaction.
Glimmers are specific to the person, they are unique to you and your life’s experiences. When we are too preoccupied to notice these small happenstances, we miss out on those small, special moments. Noticing your glimmers begins with calming the inner chatter of the mind and being aware of your surroundings. Practicing mindfulness opens the door for us to recognize moments where we feel calm, content, and happy.
In our modern world, we tend to go a hundred miles an hour. There are emails to check, notifications reminding us to plug in with our social networks, and unread texts to reply to. By dedicating a few moments each day to tuning out digital noise, we increase our awareness of the world around us. This increased awareness allows us to notice small, beautiful moments we may have otherwise missed.
Creating habits around our positive moments reinforces them in our psyche. A daily journaling practice of any kind is very impactful in maintaining a sense of stability within ourselves. Going the extra step to reflect on what brought us joy that day is even more powerful.
Photos can be reminders of special moments in our lives. When safe and appropriate, snap a photo of the little things that make you smile. Over time, you’ll see just how many little things in life spark joy.
Use your glimmers to spark joy for someone else. Text or call a loved one and ask them what makes them smile. When we feel good, one of the best things we can do is share that feeling with those around us.
As you can see, glimmers are everywhere, just waiting to be discovered. In a world with so much negativity, it is crucial for us to acknowledge the beauty and light in the world as well.
At Inside Then Out, we believe that holistic well-being also encompasses mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Glimmers are the small but mighty ingredients that add joy to our lives. By savoring these moments, we can enhance our overall wellness, reduce stress, and lead happier, more fulfilled lives. Take the time to appreciate the glimmers in your life, and watch as they lead you down the path to holistic wellness.
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Triggers are emotional stimuli that can set off intense reactions, affecting your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These can range from past traumas to everyday stressors and may lead to feelings of anxiety, anger, or sadness. Identifying and managing these triggers is essential for maintaining a healthy mind. According to Very Well Mind: “Feeling triggered isn't just about something rubbing you the wrong way. For someone with a history of trauma, being around anything that reminds them of a traumatic experience can make them feel like they're experiencing the trauma all over again.”
According to The University of North Carolina, there are 4 main types of triggers:
Triggers can elicit intense emotional reactions, such as anger, sadness, or fear. Understanding your emotional triggers can help you manage your responses more effectively. Triggers can also lead to particular behaviors, which may be impulsive or habitual. For example, someone may reach for comfort food when feeling stressed, triggered by the stressor. Triggers often bring back memories associated with a particular event or experience. These can be helpful or detrimental, depending on the nature of the memory.
(ref: Therapy With Abby and NAMI)
Triggers are a natural part of the human experience, but with the right tools, you can learn to tame them and maintain your emotional well-being. While in the moment, feeling triggered can feel like a shock to your system. It isn’t uncommon for our fight, flight, fawn, or freeze instincts to kick in. Try to keep in mind that these moments will pass, and there are many tools available to you may you need them.
Recognizing that you are being affected by a day-to-day activity or there is a common thread between the things that trigger you, can help you make an action plan. Here are some coping mechanisms you can try out the next time you are triggered. Keep in mind different mechanisms work for different situations/triggers and it is important to find the one that works best for you.
If it feels safe to do so, share your feelings with the person who is triggering you. He or she may not be aware that their words or actions are negatively affecting you.
Breathwork consists of different types of breathing techniques and has been linked to a reduction in stress, bringing awareness back into the present moment, and calming the nervous system.
Studies have shown that even ten minutes of brisk walking can increase your mood. Moving our bodies helps with lowering stress and anxiety levels, boosts self-esteem, and can help improve the quality of life for those struggling with mental illness.
Pouring out your thoughts onto paper can help release feelings of anxiety and process difficult thoughts. If you don’t know what to write about, find a guided journal that resonates with you. Inside Then Out has a variety of options that cater to different preferences and goals.
Be gentle with yourself as you experience triggers. The best way to move through a difficult emotion is to practice patience and kindness towards yourself.
Certain types of therapy, like EMDR and Exposure Therapy, have been known to help address triggering thoughts.
We hope this overview of triggers reminds you that you are not alone and relief is possible. By understanding our triggers and learning to manage them effectively, we can improve our emotional well-being, personal relationships, and overall quality of life. In doing so, you can regain control over your responses and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Keep an eye out for our next post where we will cover glimmers, a cue that brings a sense of joy or safety.
]]>As part of our new zodiac journal collection, we are dishing out self-care for the star signs. Read below to check out how you should practice self-care depending on your star sign.
]]>Aries, you are all about forward-moving energy. Try something new and active, like signing up for a new workout class. Your sign has the potential to make waves, consider becoming active in your community or with a cause you care about.
Taurus, you are known for your slow and steady energy. Your sign is known for indulgence and cozy vibes. We suggest that you host a classic pamper night for yourself. Light candles, bake up your favorite dessert and watch your favorite movie with a face mask on.
Gemini, you are known for being communicative and love gaining new information. Try reading a new book, and writing what you thought about it. Trying your hand at writing short fiction is another way to let your imagination run free.
Cancer, ruled by the moon, you possess a gentle, nurturing energy. Pour into yourself by enjoying a candlelit bath. Take your time to enjoy all the sensations fully, don’t rush yourself. Gaze at the moon afterward, taking its beauty in.
Leo, those who fall under your sign are very creative - try making something with your hands. Because Leo loves to shine from the inside out, consider making something you can wear or show off in your home. Let your creativity shine through, you may find something you are very skilled at.
Virgo, you love putting things together. Organization and order calm you. Have a puzzle night, putting something together in its right place may be soothing for you. Invest in the organization around your home, whether you take the time to do it yourself or pay someone else to.
Libra, you are ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and love. We recommend that you beautify your space. Clear clutter and bring a fresh bouquet of flowers to your room. Wash your makeup brushes. Another great idea for Libra is to head to a makeup counter and try out a new product you’ve had your eye on.
Scorpio, you are deeply intuitive and sensitive. Show yourself love by nurturing your soft side. Go on a gentle walk outside, and make sure you are drinking enough water. Reflect on where you have been and where you are going, and take pride in your inner wisdom.
Sagittarius, you love roaming free and doing your own thing. Create a solo date jar and take yourself out on dates. Include something that feeds your wild side like horseback riding or a long drive up the coast. “Me-time” fuels you.
Capricorn, you tend to always be there for others and are known for being very hard-working. Plan a day off for yourself, call in your support team, and do something fun together (bonus: don’t be the person who makes all the plans, let others take care of you this day).
Aquarius, you tend to think outside the box and are a natural-born leader. Go thrift shopping, and potentially cultivate a new unique style. Don’t be afraid to show off a bit. Let your voice be heard.
Pisces, you are known to be dreamy and imaginative. Keep a dream journal. Believe it or not, your dreams can hold a lot of personal meanings. Believe in yourself and your intuitive nature.
]]>Read more to get a more intimate introduction to the team behind Inside Then Out.
What is your favorite part of working here? I love waking up every day doing what I love and knowing that we are making an impact in people’s lives. I have also been blessed with the most amazing team of women who are extremely talented and such a pleasure to work with.
What is your favorite product of ours? This is a really hard question, but there will always be a special place in my heart for our first product, the Better Every Day Journal. I have also been loving the Dig Deeper Journal lately.
What keeps you motivated in life? Knowing that I am making an impact that is bigger than myself.
Where is your happy place? My home is where I am the most at peace and creative. I have intentionally designed my home so that it’s minimal and calming.
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? That I am very sensitive. As a CEO, I think sometimes I can appear like I have a hard shell, but the truth is I am very in touch with my emotions and overthink about a lot of things.
What is your favorite part of working here? I love working in an atmosphere where I share the same passion for wellness and mental health as my colleagues. It’s a great feeling when everyone is aligned and equally excited about the work they do.
What is your favorite product of ours? Our Dig Deeper Journal has been my jam! I’ve been writing in it daily, and it’s helped me to reflect as I enter a new chapter in my life. Sometimes free-formed journaling doesn’t come easy to me, so it’s nice to be guided through the prompts that our Dig Deeper Journal has to offer.
What keeps you motivated in life? There are a lot of things that keep me motivated in this life, but one in particular would be the impact I’m able to have on others each day. I strive to lead with kindness and compassion in my day-to-day life, and I enjoy seeing the impact that has on others in my interactions with them. Knowing that I brightened someone's day or gave them the motivation they needed to keep going fills me up.
Where is your happy place? My apartment! My fiancé and I live on the beach, and it’s been the most calming experience I’ve ever encountered. I love sitting on our couch and watching the sunset in the evenings over the water.
How did you find out about Inside Then Out? Wow, I came across ITO when Nya started the brand back in 2020! The following year, she actually gifted me the Better Every Day Journal which came at a pivotal time in my healing journey. Ever since then, I’ve had a special place in my heart for Inside Then Out. Now, being able to work with a brand that played a part in my growth over the past years feels like a dream.
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? I wish people knew how unserious and silly I could be! When people first meet me I tend to come off reserved and a bit quiet, but that’s far from who I really am. Once they get to know me they see my true sense of humor and witty personality. I guess I really do have two sides as a Gemini!
What is your favorite part of working here? I love that I get to work with an amazing group of women and express my creativity by creating aesthetically pleasing videos!
What is your favorite product of ours? I love the Better Every Day Journal, it's the first product I got from the brand.
What keeps you motivated in life? I would say discipline is what keeps me motivated. There are days when I really don't want to get things done, but I push myself to achieve them because I feel better once they are completed! Discipline is more important than motivation to me because I don't always feel motivated. Thinking about my success in the future is what pushes me to complete hard tasks though.
Where is your happy place? I would say it's more of a person than a place. My boyfriend brings me so much comfort, I would honestly be happy in any place that we get to be together :) Or the beach. It's the one place I go to decompress and I wish I lived closer to one!
How did you find out about Inside Then Out? During my healing journey in 2020. I was going through a bad breakup at the time and really wanted to find myself again. I saw it on Tik Tok and I was sold! Now I am lucky enough to work for the company!
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? Although I am very outgoing, there are many layers of me that people get to know over time. Also, I have written in my personal journal almost every day since 3rd grade! I started and never went back, essentially I have the story of my life in words!
What is your favorite part of working here? I get to do a little bit of everything I love and more! I get to be creative, technical, analytical, and most of all I get to bring compassion and love through my work. I love seeing people's reactions and engagement on social media, or seeing certain visions come to fruition. But also, I love the team I work with! Everyone is super flexible and friendly, and there is so much space for growth, and to learn from others.
What is your favorite product of ours? I'd typically say the Better Every Day journal, but lately, I have been loving the new monthly and weekly notepads! They're bringing a lot of intentionality to my life and help me organize my thoughts. They are so beautifully minimalistic that they force me to think about my priorities and how to tackle them best.
What keeps you motivated in life? Purpose, and God. Until I knew what I was meant to do, I really was just doing what others expected me to do, or what I thought was best for me. I was just doing tasks for the sake of doing them, but I've embarked on this new journey and now I feel like I'm doing things because I want to and I'm excited to see the results!
Where is your happy place? My moments of journaling and mindfulness are my happy place, but also my family. Journaling reminds me of who I am and who I can become, just as my siblings would! And I never stop laughing around my family
How did you find out about Inside Then Out? Nya and I went to the same school. When Inside Then Out started taking off, a lot of students were talking about it, and that's how I learned about the brand! When it's first TikTok went viral and Nya posted about needing a content creator, I reached out and here I am now.
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? A lot of things about me seem 'inconsistent,' but really are just me figuring out what I love, or trying to get rid of labels. I love to slow down and notice the little things, and I love art in every single form.
What is your favorite part of working here? I love hearing the stories from our community on how this brand has helped them and the ones they care about. A lot of therapists have reached out saying they love our products and encourage their patients/clients to use them!
What is your favorite product of ours? The Better Everyday Journal is my favorite one because it is structured with unique prompts. I look forward to reading each prompt for that specific day. Even if I skip a day I like to follow each calendar day!
What keeps you motivated in life? The fact that there are so many different places and events waiting to be experienced with family and friends.
Where is your happy place? Playing football with my travel coed team. We have fun together on our road trips, tournaments, and doing just about anything.
How did you find out about Inside Then Out? I have known Nya for years as a family friend and she asked if I would be interested in helping her with packaging orders. That eventually developed into assisting with customer emails and I have loved every part of it!
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? How much I care for other people no matter their background or who they are. I love learning about people who come from different walks of life.
Below are my takes on the interview questions I asked the team:
What is your favorite part of working here? Working on a staff of young women. It feels very exciting and innovative to be a part of a team of motivated women who care about mental and emotional well-being.
What is your favorite product of ours? Lately our notepads! They are the perfect size to keep on your desk/working space… they are actually super handy for work or school.
What keeps you motivated in life? Thinking about my future. I know what kind of life I want to have and that keeps me pushing when I’m feeling low.
Where is your happy place? Probably the kitchen. I love cooking and baking.
How did you find out about Inside Then Out? I saw a job post on LinkedIn. I was very intentional about my job search and knew I wanted to work towards something that would combine writing and helping others achieve wellness. When I got the job, it felt like a perfect match.
What is one thing you wish people knew about you? That I am always trying to learn new things. I never feel like I have learned enough about the world, different cultures, and history, or have read enough - it literally keeps me up at night!
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Click here to check out coverage of the event.
After thanking attendees, Nya addressed the crowd, “When I started this brand three years ago it was a time I felt far from myself… looking at all your faces I’m getting emotional.” It was evident that the work behind Inside Then Out is not out of trends or what sells, but true heart and belief in the impact the brand wishes to make. Nya was unafraid to show her vulnerability to a large crowd, she very much embodies what her brand stands for.
To promote self-love, Polaroids were taken of guests at the anniversary party and posted next to a mirror displaying the message “Write the words you need to hear right now”. Guests wrote their own meaningful words on sticky tabs. Seeing the wall fill up during the day was heart-warming, quickly the space became filled with positive messages of love, encouragement, and affirmations. It went to show that while the photos on the wall displayed how undeniably beautiful attendees looked on the outside, what was inside their hearts was even more so. To feel good about oneself is something to be celebrated. In a world that seems to deter unabashed love, there was a distinct air of self and communal love at the event.
(P.S. If you want to recreate the affirmation mirror, you can find the sticky notes used here)
A line of 12 journals with personalized writing prompts for each star sign. In the spirit of the new launch, free astrological readings were given by the gifted Ana Maria Pineda. Guests lined up quickly, interested in the insights the intuitive astrologer may give them.
One of the major highlights of the event was Inside Then Out branded gift bags including the ITO planner, Dig Deeper Journal, and zodiac journal. After receiving their journals, guests were able to have them personally engraved by Valentina Rodriguez of A Handful of Letters.
The ITO team made sure to collaborate with other women-owned businesses for their anniversary party. The Lab, ACE - the creative agency, Ana Maria Pineda, and A Handful of Letters are all owned and operated by local women.
As social media manager Delaney Black put it, “I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to attend the event and interact with my colleagues in person. Engaging with such a driven and accomplished group was truly enriching. The venue's aesthetic appeal and our arrangement efforts did not go unnoticed. Nya's speech stood out as a highlight, reflecting her immense dedication to the event's success. Being a part of Inside Then Out and witnessing its evolution is genuinely a privilege.”
“Seeing the event come together so beautifully was honestly amazing; from ideating to actualizing, it went better than any of us could’ve expected. I was amazed at how nice and friendly everyone was, and it was super touching to see all the people who came to support Nya. It went to show how important community is, especially in the mental wellness space!” says Shaina Gabala, ITO’s creative director.
Ayanna Wiltshire, who has been with Inside Then Out since the beginning, also chimed in about the warmth and community at the event. “It was amazing across the board. Everyone was so nice and wanted to support ITO. It was a great place for people to connect and meet for future collaborations. The venue itself was beautiful and fit our theme perfectly”
Britany Turner, who works as influencer and partnerships manager summed up the event beautifully: “Our 3rd Anniversary Event was truly an unforgettable experience that surpassed all of my expectations! The stunning venue was the perfect embodiment of our brand's essence, attracting a diverse group of beautiful souls who were equally matched in their appreciation for the brand. Although there were many highlights of the event, my favorite part was finally getting to meet the ITO team in person and interacting with our guests. The conversations were nothing short of amazing, and it was evident from the enthusiasm and support shown that our brand's growth over the years has not gone unnoticed. It was truly heartwarming to see such genuine excitement for our brand's future, and this has only fueled our motivation to continue to exceed expectations. The sky's the limit for ITO, and we can't wait to see where the next three years will take us!”
The 3rd-anniversary party marked not only the brand’s success but its spread to others. Nya Jones says: “We are so grateful to everyone who made this event possible, and to the wonderful people who have tried our journals. Here’s to another year of self-love, self-discovery, and endless possibilities.”
Stay tuned for the next blog post where you’ll become better acquainted with the women of Inside Then Out.
Inside Then Out would like to thank all the people who made this event possible:
Venue
Photographers
DJ
Food and Drink
Charlene Wiltshire
Activations
Event Support
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One of the fundamental aspects of forgiving your past is extending compassion to yourself. Acknowledge that you are human and that everyone makes mistakes. Understand that dwelling on past events does not serve your growth or well-being. Treat yourself with kindness, empathy, and understanding. Embrace the fact that you deserve forgiveness just as much as anyone else. Practice self-care by engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. By nurturing self-compassion, you create a nurturing environment for forgiveness to flourish.
Resentment and anger towards others or ourselves can anchor us to the past, preventing us from moving forward. To truly let go, it is crucial to release these negative emotions. Start by acknowledging and accepting the pain caused by the past events. Understand that holding onto resentment only prolongs your suffering and inhibits personal growth. Choose forgiveness as a path to liberation. Remember that forgiveness is not about condoning or forgetting what happened but rather about freeing yourself from the emotional burden. Practice forgiveness exercises, such as writing a letter expressing your feelings and then letting it go, or visualizing yourself releasing the negativity associated with the past. By consciously releasing resentment and anger, you create space for healing and positive energy to flow into your life.
Sometimes, a shift in perspective is necessary to let go of the past. Instead of viewing your past as a collection of failures and regrets, reframe it as a valuable learning experience that has shaped you into the person you are today. Recognize that the challenges you faced have contributed to your strength, resilience, and wisdom. Embrace the growth that has emerged from your past experiences. Focus on the present moment and set intentions for the future. Engage in activities that bring you joy, personal fulfillment, and purpose. Surround yourself with positive influences, supportive friends, or seek professional guidance if needed. By shifting your perspective and embracing growth, you empower yourself to create a future untethered by the weight of the past.
Our physical environment plays a significant role in shaping our well-being and mindset. By infusing love into our spaces, we create an atmosphere that nurtures and supports us. This can be achieved through:
Decorate your space with elements that bring you joy and create a soothing ambiance. Surround yourself with colors, scents, and objects that resonate with positive energy and reflect your personal style.
Maintain a clutter-free environment to promote a sense of calmness and clarity. Organize your belongings, declutter regularly, and create designated spaces for different activities. This fosters a sense of peace and allows you to focus on what truly matters.
Approach your space with gratitude and awareness. Take a moment each day to appreciate the beauty around you, whether it's the gentle sunlight streaming through your window or the serenity of a favorite corner. Mindful presence can help you develop a deeper connection with your surroundings.
Love is at the heart of meaningful relationships, and embracing it can have a profound impact on our connections with others. It is important to be cautious of how we engage with our community, so here are some ways to practice love in your interactions with others:
Take the time to truly listen to others, seeking to understand their perspectives and experiences. Practice empathy by putting yourself in their shoes and responding with compassion and kindness. This creates a safe and nurturing environment for open communication and mutual growth.
Small gestures of love can make a world of difference. Engage in acts of kindness, both big and small, such as offering support, lending a helping hand, or simply expressing gratitude. These acts not only brighten someone else's day but also cultivate a sense of interconnectedness and fulfillment within ourselves.
Love entails embracing imperfections and letting go of grudges. Learn to forgive others and yourself, understanding that mistakes and shortcomings are part of the human experience. By practicing forgiveness and acceptance, we create space for healing and growth in our relationships.
Self-love is the foundation of a fulfilling and balanced life. Nurturing a loving relationship with oneself is essential for personal growth and well-being. Consider these practices:
Despite how hectic life can be, it is important to give yourself grace. Carve out time for self-care activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as exercising, meditating, journaling, or pursuing hobbies. Prioritizing self-care allows you to recharge, replenish, and cultivate self-love.
Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Practice self-compassion and cultivate a loving inner dialogue. Remind yourself of your strengths, achievements, and the inherent worth you possess.
Taking accountability for your actions helps you gain more self-respect and provides a starting place for you to grow towards a better version for yourself. It is also important for you to set healthy boundaries that help you maintain a quality of life that is aligned with your values and reflects your priorities. Learn to say no when necessary and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships.
For more on this topic, check out our blog post that shares quotes that will redefine your perspective on love!
]]>It's easy to get caught up in what others are doing, but it's important to remember your own strengths and accomplishments. Write down a list of your achievements, positive traits, and the things you're proud of. This can serve as a reminder that you are valuable and have something to offer. If you can acknowledge the admirable traits in others, you can also do it for yourself.
While comparison can be harmful to our self-esteem, it can also be used as motivation. Instead of letting comparison bring you down, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. If someone is doing something you admire, use that as motivation to work harder or try something new. Oftentimes we need to see others accomplish the things we desire in order to see the full range of what's possible. When you do this, others become a source of inspiration rather than insecurity.
Gratitude is a powerful tool for improving self-esteem. Take time each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. This can be as simple as appreciating the sunshine or being grateful for a supportive friend. Focusing on the positive can help shift your mindset from comparison to gratitude. Inside Then Out’s Dig Deeper Journal, has an entire section with dozens of prompts that are dedicated to helping you build a gratitude practice.
Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison and negative self-talk. Studies show that increased social media use can be linked to negative mental health outcomes. If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others on social media, it may be time to take a break. Limit your social media use to a set amount of time each day, or consider taking a break altogether. Remember that people typically only share the highlights of their lives for others to see, so be careful not to compare the reality of your life to a curated image that is presented online.
The people you surround yourself with can have a big impact on your self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you, rather than those who bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Joining a community of people who support, uplift, and encourage you can be incredibly beneficial for your mental wellbeing.